"Never give up on someone with a mental illness. When the "I" is replaced by "We", "Illness" becomes "Wellness." -Shannon L. Alder
"Why don't you just get over it?" "Other people have it worse than you." "Everyone gets nervous/sad, that's just life."
These are a few of the words that people who suffer from mental illness have to hear on a daily basis.
Think about a time when you mustered up the courage to tell someone something very personal about yourself; something that put you in a vulnerable position. Now think about the time when the person you told either laughed in your face, or said something so insensitive that it made you feel even worse. Why is this acceptable to do to someone with a mental illness, but not anywhere else in our daily lives?
There is a really harsh stigma that surrounds mental health. It is one that makes out someone who is depressed to be lazy, someone who is anxious to be an uncontrollable worrier or an attention seeker, and for all who suffer to appear as though they are not "trying hard enough" to get their feelings under control. It is almost as if people look at those who have a mental illness as people who enjoy having one.
When you say "Other people have it worse.", "You worry too much.", or "You're such an attention seeker." to someone who has opened up to you about their mental illness, you are really saying "I don't care", "I don't want to listen.", or "That's your problem to deal with, not mine."; and that really hurts. It really hurts when you sit for hours worrying about the judgment that you may receive from someone for explaining how you feel, only for that judgment to become a reality.
Words cannot be taken back, and people cannot be brought back to life. Be sensitive in your word choices, because you never know how seriously someone is taking them. Speak with the thought that your words may be the last that someone hears, or even with the knowledge that you might be the one to save their life.
Compassion is such an important trait in life, and it seems to have been gotten lost in this fake resilience and strength that people say to each other when they are struggling. We have forgotten how important it is to talk about our problems, not to just push them away in hopes that they disappear. It is extremely dangerous to think this way, and to tell someone to try to believe this because it is virtually impossible. Feelings are real, and in a moment of intensity, all someone needs is to have their feelings validated.
Think before you speak. If someone comes to you and explains that they are depressed, anxious, suicidal, or anything else regarding mental illness, firstly, realize how much this person trusts you. They will not go and tell someone else if you reject their feelings. Most likely, they will feel as though since you did not show them any love or support, that no one ever will, therefore they will bottle their feelings up forever or until it is too late.
Love and compassion are the cures to stigmas. Let us do a better job of loving people and meeting them right where they are.
If you would like further explanation on this topic, please watch this video that I made:
