It's easy to not share things with people.
Some people have trust issues, some don't like opening up, some would rather put the attention on others. This isn't bad. Some things don't exactly need to be said. Sharing what you ate for dinner last night won't change anything. But when it comes to big things that you are too afraid to admit, feelings inside about a situation that happened, or an event that shaped who you are, "sweeping things under the rug" doesn't have to be the easiest path.
I have found that the things I spend the most energy on to keep inside are the ones that melt away as soon as they are spoken.
Eight months of holding in what I felt, of holding in pain from being hurt by one of the most important persons in my life for the sake of keeping the peace weighed on me heavier than most anything else I had experienced in my life. I put myself through so much pain trying to hold it in and spent so much of myself trying to move on without ever getting the apology I needed.
All it took was five minutes of honesty, and not only did I get my apology but I was freed. Something that I was keeping as a big part of me was no longer a burden I needed to carry.
After that, I don't hold things in.
It's scary to start opening up to people. We live in a superficial world were we almost follow unspoken guidelines about how we're supposed to interact with those around us. Don't double text, don't call for x number of days, have your trust levels of the people around you form a pyramid so only the chosen one at the top can hear what you are truly feeling inside.
What's the point?
Once you start opening up about the things you are holding in, you get addicted. No longer will you sit by and hold your tongue about something hurting you just for the sake of the comfort of others. No longer will you be afraid of being honest with that important person in your life about how they have impacted you more than you can ever express. When you let people in, you start to be more honest with yourself. And carrying baggage feels like a distant dream.
You don't know how much time you have. You don't know how long the relationships you have will last. It's okay to say what you need to say while you still have the time. In the end, you'll find that it's easier than fighting a war with yourself out of fear.
