To be honest, I've always struggled with the concept of monogamy. What is that suppose to mean? To be faithful? To be trapped? Or, what? Monogamy is a joke. Although, don't get me wrong, I am all for supporting my fellow peeps and pals to commitment in a one-on-one person relationship emotionally and physically, it's just not my forte.
I'm sure you already made quite the assumptions about me by reading that first paragraph, for example: "she's a slut," "she's a cheater and liar," "she's a bitch, full of herself," "she's immature" and so on, well on the contrary I like to believe (at least for my own knowledge), I am none of those things you might've thought. Instead, I am so comfortable in my own skin that I am proudly someone who can admit I function better as a partner in an open relationship. See, this stigma that open relationships only work in theory is not at all true. It depends on the couple/people involved. Open relationships can vary from being able to flirt with someone playful that is not your partner to having the ability to be sexually involved with others outside of the relationship; in this case, this is defined by the two people involved with communication and mutual consent. Honesty and consent is openly defined for the people themselves, overall this means you both have an understanding and mutual respect of each other needs, wants and desires for your relationship, each other and self to flourish. If you think about it, open relationships are quite healthy for two people because it pushes you both to state your needs and wants right off the bat, allows you to live two separate lives into one life together at the same time and promotes the purest of honesty and loyalty between two people.
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Throughout many of my past relationships or "things," I have learned that I couldn't be the best partner because closed relationships put an undoubtedly large amount of pressure as well as strains my personal preference of living. I can be emotionally faithful and committed to my partner with the exception that I have freedom to explore my flirtatious manner and physical desires with others. Sure some potential relationships couldn't work because of this preference I hold close but oh well! It isn't a true nor healthy relationship if your partner and you are not on the same level/page of understanding, respect or loyalty.
This being said, below are a few components of a healthy open relationship or open fling:
Bluntness: Don't beat around the bush with people you are seeing—straight off the bat let them know your preferences, needs and expectations, even if it's a causal fling. Seriously, don't try to sugar-coat issues because it doesn't help either of you in the long-run. (Let me tell you, I had several bad encounters because someone I was seeing casually didn't like that I was also flirting/hooking up with others that was not them).
Communication: Communication closely relates to being blunt and honest with each other. Communicate all of your needs, wants and desires, and talk through ways you both can equally respect and be committed to each other. Within this ideology is also planning. Plan through communication how this dynamic will work. For example, you're at a bar and you're flirting with someone, potentially someone you might hook up with, you either notify your partner letting them know this scenario or perhaps, you have a "don't ask, don't tell" sorta arrangement, either works.
Accommodate/Understanding: Do not, I repeat strongly, do not make awful judgements, double-standards or negative vibes with your partner. If you later realize you cannot be apart of this kind of relationship, that is fine—communicate, be honest and hopefully it'll work out. Don't expect someone to change for your standards or way of living, that is not fair to yourself nor to the other person involved. Understanding each other will help this as well, hell, you might find your peers or friends saying you have one amazing relationship because of the mutual understanding of one an other.
Respect: Importantly, respect. Respect goes a long way. Respect each other in a sense that you haven't respected someone before. Open relationships creates a lot of unknown in a great way, it creates a deeper understanding of two people, as long as you are respected.
Consent: Along with respect is consent. This really is important and ties in all ways to a healthy relationship listed above, because unless you both aren't on the same page with mutual and equal agreement then kiss that relationship good-bye, folks.
Overall, this is my personal understanding and ways of thinking. I don't encourage others to change their way of living, rather, I hope some of you can relate and this brings solace. I know I have undergone a lot of judgement and flack due to being someone who is solely for open relationships. So know you aren't alone and shouldn't feel shame or guilt, we're all different and that's a beautiful thing in life.
