It seems to be the year of sorority conferences and conventions. Every time I get on Instagram, I see another picture of a sorority woman at her organization's various summer conferences. Just last weekend, I was given the privilege of attending Alpha Delta Pi's 2016 Leadership Seminar. While I learned many things during this seminar, I believe the best things I learned did not come from the programing, though it was also very informative, and if you have the privilege of attending one of these conferences, you should pay strict attention to everything your much wiser sisters are imparting to you. Here's what I learned.
1. Get to know your newfound sisters.
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While this may seem like a no-brainer, for someone like myself, it can be difficult for me to open up to new people. The conversations rarely exceed past small talk until I feel I am completely safe to express even the smallest part of my true self. What I found during this weekend is that as I began to feel more comfortable around my sisters, I began to open up more. We discussed our chapters, our positions and even future aspirations. Had I not opened up, I would not have gotten to know some really cool sisters, and my time at the conference would have, in one way, been a waste. Though I would have learned many new things about myself and how to lead in my position and in other areas of my life, I would have lost the opportunity to build relationships with not only my sisters but perhaps future colleagues, employees or bosses. Yes, all of the pre-work and programs are important, but they do very little if we do not put what we have learned into practice.
2. Say "Hello" to everyone.
Now this one goes along with the one above; however, it aims at a more general "getting to know you." There is no way you are going to be able to learn and memorize all 800+ women's names that attend your conference. There's just no way! But what you can do is be polite, smile and say "hello," even if you are only passing by on the way to your room. After an almost two-hour flight delay, three other sisters and I successfully arrived at the first night of Leadership Seminar fashionably late. Of course, I got lost. My section had already disbanded, and I soon found myself on what I thought would turn into a wild goose chase for the small group I would be spending the weekend with. Thankfully, two very important, kind sisters, Mrs. Dawn and Mrs. Jennifer, saw the look of confusion on my face when I discovered everyone was not were they ought to be. Little did I know, I was in the presence of the Alpha Delta Pi Foundation President and the Growth and Development Manager from executive office! To be quite honest, I was a bit starstruck. I was even more starstruck when I happened to share an elevator with the former International President of ADPI later that weekend (Hello, Mrs. Tammi). My one regret was I did not properly introduce myself. I would have liked to tell her how much I admire her.
3. Truly take time to reflect.
You will be given a lot of information. Though you may break up into small groups to reflect on the larger sessions of the day, you most likely will not get to every question you may have. Or, you may just be so overloaded with new information, you forget to ask questions at all (this tends to be where I find myself). Similar to studying for an exam, it is good practice to review what you learned. Not only will your newfound knowledge begin to make sense, you will more likely be able to remember it later, so you might apply it to your life, your leadership position and your chapter, all of which your sorority conference aims to help you in. So, before you crawl into that cozy hotel bed, read over your session notes, rewrite your hurried scribbles into a comprehensible language and jot down any new ideas or questions that come to mind. If you ask your questions at the next small group discussion, they will more than likely be met with a plethora of good answers.
4. Your problems aren't new.
Whatever problem you or your chapter might be facing, don't worry. This is not the first nor the last time a problem such as yours did not surface in another chapter, and guess what, they handled it. They worked it out. Everything turned out fine in the end. This was probably the most encouraging thing I learned at Leadership Seminar. My chapter has had its fair share of problems, and I thought we were the only ones running into the road blocks and cement walls, but we're not! The last small group discussion, we spent half an hour discussing each other's problems, whether it be in their office or chapter, and every single sister received advice and encouragement because another sister had been through the exact same thing. We have all overcome some sort of struggle in our lives as sorority women, and I think we forget two things: 1) how strong we are for overcoming these struggles, and 2) change is usually good. My pastor often shares the following quote with our congregation, and I believe it can be used for this, as well (though I am going to tweak the pronouns), "We are not all that we want to be, but thank God that we are not what we used to be."
5. Eliminate "can't" from your vocabulary.
OK, so I might have acquired this concept from my advisor, but just let me explain. Throughout the conference, we discussed self-care and that taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of others. And yeah, they're right. Self-esteem and self-efficacy are very important traits in building up ourselves. Self-esteem is "Do I love and respect myself?" Self-efficacy is "Do I believe in my ability to achieve my goals?" Both ultimately, and arguably, are the foundation for the best version of ourselves. In one of our general sessions, we learned there are four strategies to building our self-efficacy: practice, observe, positive self-talk and positive frame of mind. Now, I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist or professionally trained counselor in any way, shape or form, but I believe that by eliminating the word "can't," we instantly begin to speak in the positive more, and thus, begin our trek toward a positive frame of mind. Furthermore, we also open ourselves up to more possibilities. It is not that you can't do something, it is that you have not yet learned.
These five lessons are only the tip of the iceberg for me, and I am beyond excited to delve deeper into the many concepts and practices I learned at Alpha Delta Pi's 2016 Leadership Seminar. What I hope you will take away is that sorority conferences are not just crammed schedules and long lectures. In fact, they are much much more than that. If you can find the light, the glimmer of hope and potential and enlightenment, then you will go far in all aspects of your life. So, travel safe, learn lots and have fun.
