Dear Valentines Day,
I know that you're coming up soon, but before you arrive and make me feel all anxious and worried about meaningless things that will be forgotten, let's talk about the reasons why I do not like you:
You are the holiday that is dreaded the most by many people in this world. You are not only officially and without a doubt one of the only holidays that I would see coming and cringe while looking at the calendar, but also, you push unhealthy, and toxic standards for many people like myself when they think of you.
First, you make single people think being single on Valentine's Day sucks.
The pressure to find your "lobster" (as Pheobe Buffay would call it) and skip off into the sunset with them is extremely overwhelming, and it is not what people should be feeling. It is okay to not be in a relationship. It's okay to look for a relationship, and what is even more important is that it is okay to not want a relationship.
Secondly, you make being in a relationship a stressful time of expectations (that usually fall short) and pressure.
Anyone that has Instagram or watches YouTube has seen those videos where a couple does some amazing and super over-the-top romantic gesture to show how much they love their partner, so imagine what people might be thinking to do on a holiday that is dedicated to showing you significant other how much you love them.
Like seriously, have you seen how much some of those six-foot-tall teddy bears cost? And why are people even selling six-foot-tall bears?? The world may never know. Also, the pressure and expectations to have sex from TV and rom-coms is ridiculous.
Third, have you thought of the kids?
Every year, specifically in elementary, and middle schools, many kids make or have their parents buy Valentine cards to give to their classmates, but with this visual representation of popularity comes the fear and worry of being un-liked.
Seeing a child coming back home from celebrating Valentine's Day at school with a sad expression on their face because they only got one or two Valentines is heartbreaking.
All children deserve to feel loved and cared about. I'm not saying "Let's just make every kid give Valentines to everyone in their class". What I'm saying is maybe we just should stop making this a cultural norm where everyone is feeling worried and self-conscious about their self-worth because a piece of paper that doesn't matter.
Let's build communities and friendships where everyone is accepted and included where all voices are heard than seeing how many Valentines can be sold to make kids feel bad about themselves and for companies to make money.
Speaking about companies Valentine's Day, you help many companies and large corporations rack up billions of dollars from sales of nasty candy hearts, chocolate, cards, gifts, and so many more things just to show a physical representation of love.
I just don't understand why we can't just be good people to one another and show those that we love our love when we can. Instead of doing these elaborate things very rarely, just showing small signs of affection like actively listening and caring about the interests of those you love really does matter and makes a difference significantly.
By the way, the original Valentine's Day was with forced pairing of couples from a drawing in the name of Saint Valentine.
Valentine's Day, you may be a pain and anxiety-inducing, but you have shown me that it's better to tell those you love them now then waiting for one day a year and being miserable. And hey, I love yah.
Best,
A single girl with a fire in her heart
