To The Parents I've Lost | The Odyssey Online
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To The Parents I've Lost

I still love you.

15
To The Parents I've Lost
Unsplash

Dear Mom and Dad,

I am now 18. Can you believe it? Of course, you can't. I've grown up for about seven years away from you guys. It'shows practically like you didn't raise me, but that's okay. It only took years of counseling to get over the fact that you were never actually my parents. Parents don't leave their children. They don't give them promises they can't and will not ever keep. Now don't get me wrong, I do love both of you dearly, but I have learned throughout the years how to move on. So let me start with my mom.

Mom, how I have missed you. You never let your age effect you, but the drugs did. You were my best friend. You were the one who would play sports with me. We would stay up late and watch scary movies because they were our favorite. We would eat so much candy that the next day we would be sick to our stomachs. We would go to fun events such as concerts together. I remember when you were once my reading teacher at the school. All the memories we share are always going to be in my heart. I've never let them go, but I have let you go. I understand that you most likely will never change. And the drugs have made it worse over the years. Yes, I have decided to stop talking to you, but that wasn't to hurt you. I needed to for my good. It was hurting me more than anything else, and I had to let you go. I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I needed my time to grow up and not worry about when you were going to call or how I was going to tell you about everything I've done. It was too much, especially when you wouldn't even realize how old I was. Yes, you knew my age, but you didn't know how to talk to me. It was like I was still the same age as when I left. I couldn't deal with that. I'm sorry, Mom. I love you, but I'm moving on.

Dad, I don't even know how to begin. I love you. You were always there for me when I had a fight with my friends or when I had fallen and gotten hurt. Somehow you always knew something was wrong. I remember you telling me that it was like we had a connection. When something was wrong with me, you could sense it before I even said anything. You always knew the right words to say when I was upset and give me the best bear hugs ever. But you had your flaws, also. You always would waste your money on lottery tickets trying to win. I used to help thinking it was fun and games but then it lasted for years. You probably spent half my elementary school years focused on that than me. You were also always trying to fix computers which I understand because it was your passion, but most of the time you would focus more on that than your family. I did enjoy when we would work on them together, though, and how you taught me how to build my own. I wish I still remember, but that was such a long time ago. How time flies. I always loved you, and I still do. I mean how could I not, I'm a daddy'a girl. I always will be. I'll always keep our memories sacred to my heart. You meant the world to me even though you messed up a lot on raising me. You will always be my dad. By the way, thank you for coming to dinner with me on my 16th birthday. I love you more than you will ever know, and I'll still be praying that maybe someday you will change your ways. Until then, I will have to move on with my life and hope for the best.

So now you both know how I feel. I didn't put every detail in this because I didn't feel like it was necessary. I believe you know the gist of what I am saying. I just want you to know that you both will always be my parents just not ones who raised me. Thank you for giving me life. I could never thank you enough for at least the kind things you have done in my life, and for teaching me what I don't want in my life from the bad you have done.

Love,

Your daughter

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