Open Letter To A Tool | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

Open Letter To A Tool

The title should be self-explanatory.

54
Open Letter To A Tool

Oh, dear f*ck boy.

How did you know? You could not possibly have appeared in my life at a better time. I got a new job today and I am positively bursting at the seams, waiting to be undone. This is the first semester I've felt truly prepared and excited to go back to class since fall of freshman year. However, there is nothing more that I could ever want than your greasy a** sliding into the DMs, as the kids say.

I remember the spring fondly. We met up for iced chai tea lattes and ended up making out back at your place. True perfection. Oh! But my favorite part was when you stopped talking to me as soon as I walked out of your door. Whatever, no great loss. You were simply another lover scorned considering I laughed at you for that stupid move you pulled. Did you think we were high schoolers? What's the term? Durfing? Ridiculous. I didn't hear from you for a few months. Really, it was better that way. You have your shitty music and I have much better things to fill my time with.

Here you are again, though. Proclaiming that I am "hotter than [you] remember." Gee, thanks, mister! You sure know how to flatter a girl. I'll give you the benefit of a doubt. Let's try this 'friends' business again. This is the prime time for networking, right? We talked for a day. That's it. One day. Then it was right back to ignoring me. Here I am thinking that if you had any decency you would at the very least give my number to your friend and have them tell me you were dead.

But alas, what light through yonder cell phone breaks? 'Tis a text, and indeed, it is someone's son. Someone who should be quite ashamed, by the way.

What possessed you to finally break the silence? "I don't know ... haha." Wow, so eloquently put. I am at a loss for words. "Okay then I'll be honest I'm not really looking for a friend I'm looking for someone to fuck me.” There we have it, folks. An age-old story of a dumb a** having his foot so far in his mouth that he could not take the time to tell me he needed to go to the hospital for an oral-pedectomy. Mmm, yeah, nothing gets me going quite like being ignored. Please, take me now! Or not.

Oh, dear f*ck boy.

It seems that you may be used to getting what you want. Did things not go according to plan? Are you now backpedaling so hard that your muscles will be sore for days? I wouldn't say I have pity. My feelings lie somewhere between contempt and amusement. So don't be sorry for being horny. Be sorry for being a piece of sh*t.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

196629
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

18688
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

460745
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

28238
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments