To sum it all up - you're tired. Stop living how you are. Pointless small talk, effort that was never recognized and apparent priorities have a lot to do with your life right now. You have the tendency to live in a metaphorical shadow to please others now, too, because you haven't yet found the rewarding beauty of 'independence'.
Don't get me wrong - you'll hit a breaking point and come to the realization that this is only testing and teaching you how to become who you are today in life, but for now you have to start working and actually realize the wrong doings in you and those who you surround yourself with for the dramatic 'change' that you'll soon love. Keep in mind, too, that closure isn't something that you always need in life and the constant search for it isn't going to do you any better either. Start with people that are around you that have absolutely no benefit to you and are just there to hinder you from getting where you need to be. You'll recognize these people when you start paying attention to apparent 'unintentional' actions. What you're going to do is - no matter how hard it might be and how long it will actually take - stop any sort of communication with these people.
Then you're introduced to forgiveness, which takes so much off your shoulders and provides you with more peace within your life. You came to the realization that holding a grudge toward those who don't even deserve your time is a hell of a waste. After that, you're going to need to become comfortable with being alone. You don't have to take someone with you every time you go to get a refill for your nails, you could go watch a movie by yourself, go out to eat somewhere or even just simply take a walk to relieve stress.
Life isn't at all what you want it to be right now, and that's okay because you're only 17. You already stress yourself out way too much in the first place, so take it one day at a time and don't rush anything. One minute you have to ask for permission to use the restroom, you're told to not wear certain kinds of clothing, and then you're all of a sudden getting ready for a higher education and debating if you want to major in psychology or business. You need time to process and adjust because that's just who you are. One thing you are is patient and that's really the key right now. After all of this magical 'change', you'll automatically see how easier things are and how stress-free you begin to live.
In your friends' presence, you benefit one another. You don't want to hear about other people's faults and differences. Just the fact of not waiting on anyone or anything is less of a burden when you became comfortable with doing things on your own. You start to work more on 'you', and you start to better your work ethic and become proud of it and how you reward yourself. The rest will be a surprise and for you to figure out because there's so much more that you'll learn to love and become proud of. Continue to be patient. Everything that is happening now isn't even the half of it and remind yourself that there are so many more goals and accomplishments to come because you still have so much time and you're dedicated when it comes to something that you genuinely love. Don't lose focus.
