We've all had that one guy, or maybe multiple ones, that feed us a list of lies. Well, I recently had one and it took me long to figure it all out, but when I finally did, my life changed for the better. So, to the boy who fed me a long list of lies, this one's for you.
Dear boy with the list of lies,
Recommended for you
Freshman year of college, I was in my own little world, and never in my wildest dreams did I think I would meet a guy. Honestly, I had hoped for it, but I didn't think it was possible. Then I met you. We met in the most simple way possible. It was nothing super romantic that I could brag about to my friends. It was as simple as can be, but honestly, that was OK with me. How we met was enough for me and that's because you were enough for me.
We started off as friends. We never really talked about what we were. If I ever brought up the subject, you would quickly change it. You would think that that would ring a bell for me and I would realize that, "Hey, maybe he doesn't want what I want." But I didn't. Instead, I thought maybe it's a touchy subject and the time will come when it comes. And I waited patiently for a very long time.
I was confused, because we did everything a couple did, and I mean it when I say everything. Of course, when my friends would jokingly ask if I'd found anyone yet, I would smile and say no, but on the inside, all I wanted to say was, "Yes, I have, and he's great!" But I kept quiet. I remember when I asked you if you had told anyone about us, and you said, "No, I like to keep things a secret." You would think that that would have made it all click in my head, and the truth was you didn't want to date me. You just wanted to have some fun. But instead, my foolish self didn't think a thing of it.
I finally started questioning things when you officially began to "ghost" me. One day, we would be messaging non-stop and that night, we would hang out together. And the next day, I would hear nothing, and when I say "a day," I actually mean weeks. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not needy at all, but it got to the point where I would see you and you wouldn't say a word to me. You would just act like we'd never spoken before.
When I got a message from you one day, I was so relieved. You assured me that you were just super busy with your practices and games. Which were all a bunch of lies. You told me that to make it up to me, you would hang out with me that night. And you told me how beautiful I was and how I was the only girl you cared about and how that will never change. And of course, I soaked it all in. You were always good at playing the game, so of course, I didn't suspect a thing.
I found out about the first girl in one of my classes. She was blushing and talking about this incredible guy she met. I knew the girl well and I was excited for her, so I asked her what his name was. When your name came out of her mouth, I was crushed, but still in denial. Holding back tears and choked up, I asked her what his name was again, praying that I heard her wrong, but I didn't. Once again, she said your name loud and clear. The next girl I heard it from was in the library. She was talking to her friends and I overheard it. The more girls that added up, the more I felt like a piece of crap, but for some bizarre reason, I couldn't let you go.
When you messaged, I still answered. When you called, I picked up. When you asked to hang out, I always said yes. Summer came and you were still on my mind. I truly believed that I would never be able to let you go until I hit the final straw. Someone I trust told me that you've been talking to multiple girls. I knew it was true. See, there was a part of me that didn't believe those other girls that had said all the same things. But it was a whole different story when someone who would never lie to me told me.
I can't go back and change the fact that I wasted my entire freshman year being stuck on you. Believe me, if I could, I would. But I can't. All I can do is move forward. Do I hate you? No. Do I feel sorry for you? Yes. Did I wish that I could change you? Absolutely. But some people just can't be changed. So I wish you the best.
But just know this. You can have your Tinder account with your inbox full of messages from girls, you can have every foolish girl that unfortunately will get caught up in your mess and you can have the pride and power that you feel when you feed your long list of lies to every girl you meet. But there's one thing you can't have, and that's me.
