Dear Mom and Dad,

I honestly wish I weren't such a burden to you two. I love you so much, but with me being more open with my gender identity, it feels like I'm receiving a stiff "love". You don't have to love all of me, it's okay. You don't even have to love me at all. That would be confirming my worst fear in the world, of being unloved by the people who taught me to walk and speak, who oversaw my younger years to make sure I didn't hurt myself too badly and guided me in my sprouting faith.

I can tell you guys care, and it shatters my heart to hear that you would rather me be cut off from family than enjoy Christmases and birthdays with everyone. I understand that you wouldn't want me to be around your brother, Dad, I know he used to be a pastor and is very religious, as are his wife, children, and grandchildren. Your sister probably wouldn't accept it either, but you've known her longer than I have. Maybe two out of four of her kids wouldn't mind me being me. Mom, I think most of your family wouldn't care and they'd just say "okay" and move on.

Anyway, slightly off topic, onto the important stuff.

I know you disagree with the LGBT+ community. I know you hate it. Love the sinner, hate the sin, right? You love me in some capacity, but you hate what you have been taught to see as sin. Is it really sin? We all are fearfully and wonderfully made, after all, and that does not exclude anybody. As for the topic of gender reassignment surgeries, one could argue that breast reductions, nose jobs, and even piercing your earlobes could be considered as violating what God gave you.

It's different, I know, and all the more shocking coming from your own offspring. It's shocking and strange. Trust me, I wish I were born normal so this couldn't happen. Through this, I do not seek happiness, as it is fleeting. I seek peace and contentedness in Christ, and through counseling, prayer, devotionals, and therapies, I hope to match my body with my soul, even just for a little while during this short, short life. God knows my heart, and he knows yours. I urge you to think deeper before cutting ties. 1 Corinthians 13:13.

I know I'll never truly be Lee to you, or "he", or your son. I don't want you to be completely absent from my life until you've been called up to the Lord, and even then, I want to be at your bedside to weep and assure you that I'll be joining you in paradise. But I will respect your wishes, whatever they may be.

With sorrow in my heart and tears in my eyes,

Lee Capon