There are two sides to every story. This is my side.

Where do I even begin? My mind is filled with questions that I have yet to ask, sadness from the many years spent together that are just gone now, and anger because of the way things ended between us.

6 years. Not months, not weeks or days, but years. Those years were filled with laughter, sleepovers, inside jokes, emotional breakdowns, late night talks, and memories that I will never forget. The way our friendship ended was tricky. I can admit that I am far from innocent and I am sure that all things happen for a reason, but I can't stop myself from thinking about what exactly happened. Yes, there are two sides to everything and if you happen to be reading this, I would like for you to try and understand my side.

Everything was absolutely great the first five years. Yes, we had our arguments and petty fights, but nothing that really set us back. On the sixth year of our friendship, something definitely seemed to be different. In many instances, I caught you in lies yet I chose to never say anything because I did not want anything to happen to our friendship. That began to change at the beginning of our senior year of high school, I started being honest with you and that is when everything changed. You told me everything, from boys to friends to family and I helped you with it all, but then I found out that those things you were telling me were not true. I began to distance myself slightly because again I was cautious of our friendship.

As I began to distance myself, I began to get closer with a mutual friend of ours and found out that I was told lies and you told her lies about me. Part of me wondered why you would do this, but I yet again waved it off as something else. Maybe there was a misunderstanding (okay, a lot of misunderstandings) and you just didn't know better.

As all of these things started to happen, you began to use social media to talk about everything that was going on. You tweeted things that were rude that I knew were directed towards me and then when I asked you about the tweet you made up some excuse and said it was about someone else. Once again, you had lied again. I know this for a fact because how ironic that we are having stuff going on between us and a minute after I don't respond to your text you go and tweet. Yeah, I know it was about me and you later even confessed that you tweeted about things that were going on.

I began to realize that you were not the best friend that I should have, you were toxic. I have struggled with depression and anxiety and I need someone who helps me stay up, not someone who tears me down. Along with you tearing me down and all the lying, I knew that the friendship we had was way too toxic for me. Everything in me wonders why you would lie so much. Your family probably now thinks that I am a terrible person. People from school think I am the bad person. That I was a fake friend. That's fine. I can handle that, I know the truth and that's all that really matters to me. Like I said before, I am not innocent either and I have done things that I am far from proud of.

I can honestly say though, that the friendship we had was real to me. I cherished it for the longest time. Still to this day, I will hear a song or read something online that makes me think of you and my first instinct is to text you, but I don't. I still wonder how school is going for you and how your family is doing. I still think about all of the nights we stayed up laughing at dumb videos. But, now I honestly wonder how much of that was genuine. I do not harbor any bad feeling for you. I don't expect you to read this and text me asking for another chance, nor do I want you to expect that from me. The only thing that I wish and will ever wish from you is answers, but I know that I will never get any and that's fine.

Sincerely,

Your ex best friend