Open Letter To My Drug Of Choice
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Open Letter To My Drug Of Choice

I didn't choose cocaine. I didn't choose heroine. I didn't choose pain killers. I choose you.

655
Open Letter To My Drug Of Choice
Unsplash

Dear My Drug,

I choose you over all the other selections.

Over and over again, I came crawling back. Isn't that what you do when you're an addict? No matter how much harm you caused me, my heart, and mind, in the end it was you. I only wanted you. I tried other things but nothing gave me the satisfaction that you gave. The joy and happiness was like no other.

I've been addicted to you for a while now, and every time is the same. I let you in over and over again no matter the damage you cause be before. You would draw me in with empty promises and hope and dreams and then push me away like I was nothing. Time after time you have let me down and left me alone crying, broken. But I am an addict and you are my drug.It will always be you. Even when I have cleaned my system of you and moved on, it will always be you. You will always be the one I want in the middle of the night when I roll over and wake up. The one I want to tell my day to. The one whose arms I want around me holding me tight.

I think no matter how hard I try to rid you from my life, you come back because a part of you needs me like I need you. When I tell you to go and we both know I don't mean it, it still seems like forever that you are gone. While your gone I constantly have you on my mind, and every time I feel my phone go off my heart flutters hoping it is you and breaks when its not. All I want is to be good enough for you, even when you tell me it's not me. I feel as if you push me away only to pull me back in. But I am an addict and and you are my drug.

I would like to think I don't need you, that I just want you, but sometimes that line gets blurry and I can't tell the difference. The high I get when I'm with you is like no other. Nothing else matters because my whole undivided attention is on you. My tastes change to match yours so there is always something to talk about. Isn't that what a drug does, it takes over your life? You've already invaded my mind and my heart, so why not take over my life also? It is yours if you want it.

They say this is a phase, that I don't know what I want. But I am an addict and you are my drug. I know sweet drug at some point you will become a phase in my life and become a distant memory because like real drug you will do harm instead of pleasure. You will break me down until I am nothing and I don't want to be nothing. I don't want to be the girl who missed out on life because of her drug of choice. I don't want you to destroy me.

I cannot change you. I cannot change this. But I can change me and at some point I will not let you back in and I will not crawl back. As for now, the strength is not there, and all I want is you because i am an addict and you are my drug.

Maybe you are an addict too. Maybe you are addicted to causing pain. Causing me pain. Maybe we are all addicts, all addicted to some form of a drug. Getting some sort of high out of this life. My high just happens to be you.

Sincerely,

The Addict

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

70711
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

132335
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments