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Open Letter to My Absent Father

Dear biological father

Ashlee Poore

May 24, 2017

Birmingham, Alabama

322

Dear BIOLOGICAL father,

I don't know where you are or where you've been for the past 19 years but I am here to let you know that I do not care. There have been so many occasions where you claim on social media that you are close to my brother and I, and claim that you have so much love for your "children", but the honest truth is that you don't even know my middle name nor my birthdate. I have grown into a young woman now and I did it without you. Growing up, all my friends were daddy's girl but you never gave me any other option but to me a mommy's girl. However, I have never been so thankful for my grandparents who raised me and my mom who played not only her role but also the "dad" role. I have caught myself in the past wishing that you were around for certain moments but I am honestly so blessed that you chose mind-altering substances over me and that day when I was 6 years old you chose to turn your back on your family and walk out. Probably the best and most selfless decision you ever made.

I do not know you, I barely remember you, if it was not for the very few pictures I have of you I would not know what you even looked like. Therefore, I can not hate you. Do not confuse this, I do not love you either.You are strictly my biological father that some would call a "sperm-donor" because you have not earned the title "dad" or "parent". You are a stranger to me, and I have no feelings for you. You resemble a fictional character I once read in a book in elementary school, who you read about but have never visually seen. An imagination.

You were not around for many things that I could have needed you for. My first heartbreak, driving my first car, any of my birthdays, I could go on and on about all the things you SHOULD HAVE been apart of but chose not to be. That is okay because I was raised by not only one but two awesome men who inspire me everyday of my life, my grandfather and my brother. I did not need you and I am perfectly fine without you. My mother and I have a relationship that is 2 times stronger than if you were to be around, and I am so blessed to have her in my life. I will spend every waking minute with my future family and insure to be twice the parent than you ever were. I will have man in my life who make sure I know that a man can be kind and a father can stay.

You attempted to tear our family apart, but like everything else.. you failed. You leaving was the best thing that happened to not only our family but my mother. I am here to thank you for making that decision.

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1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

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6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

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1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!