Dear Love,

I am not sure if you remember me or not. I met you some time ago and I have not been able to stop thinking of you since. You see you were a forever type of sensation that I thought I would never lose but I did. You were the type of consciousness that can never leave a being once they have been made aware of you, which brings me to this letter asking the questions I have not been able to ask you before. The questions that keep me in constant wonder of how you came to be and how something that is so longed for can cause the most amount of emotional turmoil one can feel in an entire lifetime. I wonder why you choose the people you do. Why do you show yourself to them in the most intimate of ways just to leave them without the ability to escape your grasp? You capture your victims with the assistance of others. You get others to do your dirty work so not to be the only one at fault. Instead, you use them so when it is all said and done they are blamed instead of you. Because how could anyone blame you, Love? You are the one that everyone needs to survive, the one people need in their lives to feel the tiniest bit of significance. I know the truth, though. I know the truth behind you and what your true intentions are and I am here to tell you that you are done hurting me, and hopefully, others as well.

You used to let me dream with my eyes open but now all you do is let your memories haunt me when my eyes are closed. I see you in the forms of those that have left me in the past; those that claim to never hurt but do so without a second thought. I remember the first day I truly met you. I say truly because I thought I had met you before but now realize it was only your cousins, Infatuation, and Lust that I made acquaintance with. You, though, I knew who you were the moment I met you. Your blue plaid button up over your broad shoulders illuminated your eyes when I gazed into them for the first time. Your smile, slightly crooked, held my attention until it was broken by the softest kiss that had ever touched my lips. You stood leaning to the side with your military green bags on the ground next to you and I felt my breath catch in my chest. Instantly I knew that he was you and you were he; an interchangeable being that allowed me to believe in you again. Believe that you existed because he was all the proof I needed. All the days, hours, and minutes that had been building up to that moment were all validated in that instant because of you. Because I felt you more through him than I had ever felt before and my entire being felt alive again. I had this fire within me that had been waiting to be ignited and he held the lit match. It amazed and frightened me that someone could have so much impact and significance and then just disappear. You and him, you left me like a whisper that leaves the lips, quietly and all at once. You abandoned me with nothing but his voice running through my mind echoing the words you told him to say. The words you knew would draw me to you and capture my already tender heart. I thought he, you, meant it this time. Meant the words that fell from his lips and I let straight into my heart without hesitation. I thought you were there to stay but the truth arrived no sooner than he had. It was made apparent that you did not plan on staying like you had promised to. I want to say that I was surprised but to be honest, I saw this coming. How could someone like you wish to be with a broken specimen like me? A specimen that longs for someone who is long gone with no intentions of looking back. You took a piece of me the day you made him leave and now I am here incomplete and incapable of forgiving you. I hope you found what you were looking for so not to do this to another again. I pray that one day you will find the happiness you are searching for and come to peace with who you are. For now, I ask that you leave me be for a while as I need time to forgive you.

Always,

Sarah-Ann Haimann