Dear you,
If you're reading this, you already know this is about you. I don't mean any harm in this, I just have a lot to get off of my chest.
About two months ago, you turned my world upside down and made me question everything you ever said, everything we've ever talked about, when you cheated on me with the worst person you could have possibly cheated on me with. You made me have to find myself again, how to be a person without you. At the time, I hated you. I hated you for cheating on me, I hated you for lying to me, I hated you for keeping me around just to use me. I was in love with you though, so I stayed even though it killed me inside. My heart was broken by the only person that I thought could fix it. So I stuck it out. I stayed around, hoping you'd put me together again, even though you were the one who broke me in the first place. To anyone reading this, just remember; the person who hurt you will not be the one to heal you.
You see, I'm not writing this to be mean, I'm not writing this to drag your name through the mud. I'm actually thankful that you broke me so badly, knocked me down time and time again. At the time, I didn't realize that this would be a blessing in disguise. At the time, I was a mess in the form of a girl and it felt like the world was crumbling around me, like the walls and ceiling were constantly closing in on me, it was like suffocating and watching everyone around me breathing just fine. It felt like I was in a never-ending anxiety attack, falling over and over again into it. I literally thought I was dying, but here I am. I am broken and still healing, I am hurting and trying to find complete nirvana, I am untrusting but trying to regain trust in people. I am not the best version of myself, but you made me realize something.
You made me realize that I need to focus on myself for awhile, I can't rely on someone else because other people are so certain. You are the one person in the entire world that I let myself get attached to, I let myself fall in love with you without thinking of the repercussions.
You also made me realize that I need to be more careful, with my emotions and with my words. You made me realize a lot of things, bad and good. I am thankful, though. I have realized over these past two months that I need to love myself before I love anyone else. So, I've been doing a lot of self-analyzing.
I've realized things I should've realized long ago, I'll name a few. I have so much potential. I am smart. I am kind, I am loving. I'm caring. I am loyal and I deserved to be treated how I treat others. Now, I say what's on my mind, which sometimes isn't always what people want to here. I'm blunt, I can have an attitude sometimes. Of course, I'm not the perfect person, but I am learning, I am growing.
Thanks to you, I realized my worth. As strange as it may sound, thank you for breaking my heart. I wish you nothing but the best.
Sincerely,
A.
