Dear Chartwells,

Three hundred plus schools in America have to deal with you so let me start by saying “Wow, you get around.” The first two weeks of freshman year you were the best “bae” but then things slowly turned for the worse. You then became nicknamed “Shartwells” or “Fartwells” or even “Sharthells.” At first, you were given the benefit of the doubt, and then it got worse and worse. So now I’m putting my foot down, enough is enough, Chartwells we need to break up.

Please don’t cry, It’s not you, it's me. My stomach just can’t handle you, you have to understand. I share a bathroom with 50 other girls on my floor and I just can’t keep doing this to them. Don’t get me wrong, your soft serve ice cream is amazing and totally has me “sprung” but there's too many faults in our relationship. Your pizza is kinda rubbery and quite frankly it makes me sad. Shh shh stop crying, we did have some good times, your orientation cookout was great and made me feel welcome on your campus, sadly I’ve come to realize you’ve done that to everybody. Your cereal is great too believe me, your “Marshmallow dreamers” totally taste like Lucky Charms and let's face it. That’s all I ever really want anyways.

Chartwells, it’s not just me that wants to leave you, many people on the SSU campus feel the same way but not many have the courage to say it to your face. It’s hard to end a relationship especially your freshman year when you feel like things are getting “real.” Let’s face it, this relationship is toxic not only for you but for me. You don’t constantly need my complaints about how you could do so much better. I don’t need the constant bloating and constipation you give me due to stress and the quality you bring to the table. It’s just not working out, no significant other should have to hear; “You make me sick,” “Eww, you again.” or “I hate you.”. It’s not fair to you and I know that, believe me. I’m leaving you for your sake, not for mine. Chartwells your mental stability isn’t worth my love and affection. I wish it didn’t have to be this way but years of home cooking made me realize what I deserve and honestly It’s not you.

It’s not that I don’t love your grilled cheese or orange juice but I can’t just ignore your flaws because you have some okay things going for you. So Chartwells, what do you say? We part ways and not make this awkward or will I still be stuck seeing you around campus everywhere I go? I can respect that we go to the same school so I won’t judge you if we do but let's just make it a clean break. Goodbye Chartwells, we had a nice run, a couple laughs, some cries, and some long nights in the bathrooms.

Sincerely