Hi Dad,
It's been awhile, nearly 3 years in fact since we spoke last. So very much has changed since then; I've changed, you've changed, I've grown older, I've been dating the most amazing person for nearly two years and somehow through it all, I've been able to get over you.
I remember back when I was younger and I wished that you'd come home to me every Christmas, every birthday and all the days in between. I believed you when you said you would come home and we would go cliff diving, buy a huge dog, and you would simply be my dad again. I craved it, I longed to have a dad to go to Father/Daughter Dances with, to buy a tie for Father's Day for, and so many things in between.
But now, being 22, I know that I don't need that. I was raised by the most incredible mother who has loved me, supported me financially, physically, emotionally, who has taught me that being a parent is the hardest job in the world and I question every day how she did it by herself and then I'm reminded how incredible she is in every way.
I didn't attend dances, I have a nice, medium sized dog, I have fulfilling relationships in my life and I've found the man I'm going to marry and I did it all withoutyou.
I'm not saying this to hurt you, although it may seem this way. I'm very matter-of-fact about the situation these days. I tried so hard for so many years to make you come home, to maintain a relationship from different states, with different lives, among different people. It just won't work.
Because I've realized now that even if you were to come home, were to come back into my life, that too much life has happened. Too much ME has happened and with all that life happening, all the ME growing and becoming who I am today, there isn't any room for you...
And you know what, I feel bad for you because I've done so much, I've met so many wonderful people, I have so many big dreams and you haven't been there to see any of it. You don't know my friends, my college roommates or what my college campus even looked like. You don't know my cousins or their spouses, you don't know my boyfriend and the wonderful way he makes me smile or any of the plans we have for our future. You weren't there for my middle school lows, my high school highs, you won't be there for my college graduation, my wedding, my children and those things make me feel sorry for YOU.
There's just no more room, no more need, no more longing and wishing that you'll come home, and I'm okay with that, I hope that someday you are too.
I'm sorry you don't know me, but I have to thank you for the amazing relationship you inadvertently gave Mom and me, you forced me to be close to my grandparents so it wasn't always just me and Mom, I had a deeper relationship with my friends' fathers and my extended family, I knew what I wanted in a relationship and what I didn't want and those things led me to the perfect guy.
Thank you for leaving, my life wouldn't be the way it is now if you hadn't.
Sincerely,
Your Daughter
