Hello there,
I understand your pain and struggle. Maybe your smile doesn't reach your eyes anymore or maybe the days seem to feel like everytime you wake up, it is only getting worse and worse. Maybe you dont see the point in waking up or even living through the day. Maybe you feel like there is no possible chance of things getting better. You may think that this is it, what's the point of fighting if everytime you get to the slightest bit of happiness, it goes wrong. Your life is being run by the fear of failure, or maybe even the fear of pain.
I'm here to tell you that if you feel like you have hit rock bottom, that means the only other way to go is up. It may be dark and your thoughts are scary and your emotions are overwhelming you. You just have to take a moment and breathe. You have to find the one thing inside of you that makes you want to keep fighting and hold onto that.
If you already know what giving up feels like, why not try to see what not giving up feels like. Maybe you have no idea what happiness feels like but you are fully aware of what sadness feels like. You can learn to challenge all the negativity. I'm not saying its going to be easy, I'm saying that it is possible. I know how addicting sadness is. It's almost like an excuse to put your life on pause. You have to teach yourself to be addicted to happiness.
Now if you're someone who doesn't know how to get to happiness, you can start by figuring out the exact reason why you feel the way you feel. Then challenge it. My favorite quote is, "In a life long and well lived, there will be pain and darkness." Every bit of pain you have been through, every scary thought, it's all going to be a lesson. Each lesson you learn, you should hold closely and never regret any of it. This is all shaping your character and every part of your mental strength. You will come out on top, and as clichéd as it sounds, it really will get better. You will see the light again and so many people who really care for you are so proud of you. I may not know you or maybe I do, but I am so proud of you. You will make it out of this and you will be okay.
Sincerely yours,
Someone who believes in you