It's a Monday morning. You wake up, roll out of bed, try to touch your toes, fail to touch your toes, make some coffee and get ready for your day. As you get in your car and pull out of your driveway, you are at peace.
Then a 12-year-old is in front of your car. Looking at his phone. You slam on the brakes, check the rear view mirror to see if you've aged 10 years, and watch the kid as he continues on his path, unfazed and determined. You're close enough to catch a glimpse of his phone screen–and he caught a Snorlax.
This is what the world is like now. I know. I get it. Because I'm just like you. You are a millennial in your 20s, and you have not downloaded Pokemon Go. Every time you go on Facebook and see yet another of your close friends post, OMG, so late to the game, but what team should I be on?? #PokemonGo #PokemonWHOA #lol, followed by a string of 30 to 40 comments defending Team Mystic or Valor or Gryffindor, a thought pops into your head: Should I just join already? Is it too late? What would I even do? If my phone can't even handle Snapchat's data, wouldn't Pokemon Go slaughter it all together? Maybe I should just risk it.
Ugh, stop. Don't listen to that voice. You know your phone can't handle it and it's still going to be a while before you get that update. It's just a trend. It'll be over before you know it. Right?
Right?
Right.
So what if you played Pokemon your whole childhood? So what if you beat both the Ruby and Sapphire versions? So what if you had 30 plus Pokemon figurines that you and your older brother would use to stage daily battles? Who cares?
I know how hard it's been to explain to all of your friends why you haven't gotten it yet. I've heard your white lies and fake laughter after saying you'll probably download it soon. I know you might have enough space if you deleted your three Hannah Montana albums off your iTunes library, but you just don't feel like it. I've felt your pain. Shh. Take a deep breath. It'll go away soon. You can feel it in the air. The trend is starting to fade.
So even when you see hopeful memes such as this:
and this:
Don't worry. There will soon come a day when a newer, more exciting app will take the world by storm, and maybe you'll be able to download it without your screen blacking out every time you try to open it (not saying any names, Instagram stories). There will come a time when your pop culture relevance and conformity coolness will rise again. I believe it wholeheartedly, and you should too.
Love,
The other person who hasn't done it yet.
P.S. Seriously, see if you can get that update sooner, because then you could finally have it because I've heard it's really fun and cool and everyone's doing it. Don't be a loser. Team Mystic.
