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To The Man I Get To Marry, Please Rescue Me Soon

As said by my dad, "she's quite the handful."

Malley Ronk

Apr 17, 2018

Millennials of Michigan

To The Man I Get To Marry, Please Rescue Me Soon

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Dear Man I Get To Marry,

How are you? I'm pretty lousy these days.

What is it with the male species being so dumb during this life stage? I don't understand, but I guess I can get over it. Sometimes I just wish I could fast forward ten years into the future where we're together on a Saturday morning, making waffles and dancing to the playlist I made when I was nineteen. That's what I imagine having a husband is like, but I could be wrong. I know it's much more than that but I like being native about this kind of thing since I've barely had a boyfriend.

I think this is why I'm having such a hard time believing love will ever exist for a person like me. I still believe in having a soulmate though which seems counterproductive but that's my brain for ya!

I think like anyone, I have my share of questions for you.

How do we meet? At college during move in day or during a casual swipe on Bumble? How long do we date? I mean, my parents dated for 2 weeks then got engaged and have been married for 24 years now so it probably doesn't matter. Where do we live? All these things I think about a lot. I think it's fun to have different scenarios of who I marry. But I think my biggest question is, have we already met? I've met lots of guys for a brief moment in time I thought I would marry but that's just how the female brain works I guess. I'll admit, this has broken my heart on many different occasions due to jumping the gun thinking I've met 'my person.' But to be fair, everyone shoves the idea that you meet your spouse in your first years in college, so it's fair for me to question it every time a guy talks to me.

Whoever you may be, here's what you should know about me as an almost twenty-something year old.

I watch far too much Hulu and laugh hysterically at Bob's Burgers when I'm alone. In the summer, Marshmallow cokes replace the cold brew coffee part of my bloodstream. My music taste is all over the place and that's quite the skill to have. I'm a HUGE nerd so Marvel movies are in our future. I'm driven and am not threatened by men so don't be threatened by me. When I fall in love, I love with all my being because you deserve that.

I hope we meet very soon so you can rescue me.

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To The Man I Get To Marry, Please Rescue Me Soon

As said by my dad, "she's quite the handful."

How are you? I'm pretty lousy these days.

I think like anyone, I have my share of questions for you.

Whoever you may be, here's what you should know about me as an almost twenty-something year old.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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