Dear My Best Friend's Rapist,

I still remember the look on her face when she finally came clean about what had happen to her months prior to the conversation. I was overcome with different emotions because I personally did not know what to say to make the pain go away. I sat there in awe as tears ran down her face and she started breathing heavily because she was overwhelmed by the secret that she had been keeping from me for over three months. We sat on the floor and I grabbed her and pulled her close to me hoping that my warmth and love would ease some of the pain. I felt her struggle as well as her relief because while she had been keeping this from me for some time, I knew that something with her was not right. I held her for what it seemed like forever, and while I wanted to cry with her I had to fight back my tears because I knew she was dealing with enough.

I still to this day do not know who you are or what you look like because she knows what my reaction would be if I were to ever encounter you. I pictured what I would do if I ever see you. I have never been so mad at a person that I never met before. How could you do something so horrendous to a little girl who at the time was so far away from her family to even have comfort. We hadn't known each other that long and she still trusted me with that secret. I carried that with me for a year before she felt that she was ready to come clean about what happened to her. It was her story to tell, but as someone who loved her, I wanted to take matters into my own hands.

I hated you for a year and I had never seen your face. I hated you for changing the way she viewed men. I hated you because I saw the impact of that night consistently written all over her face. I hated you because every time someone touched her she jumped a little because of the way you forced yourself on her. I hated you because she will never be able to love someone after the way you treated her that night. I hated you because she fell into such a deep depression that she almost lost her life. All for what? All because you just had to have your chance with her even after she said NO! I despised you for changing the life of such an innocent girl and you not caring about her feelings after the fact.

Even though I still to this day hate the fact that she can still run into you at parties, tailgates, or football games, I have seen her grow in so many ways. She took charge of her life and stopped allowing that night to consume her. She opened up about what happened to her and she is proactively making sure this does not happen to anyone else. She has taken back control of her life and is focusing on the things that are important to her. Don't get me wrong, I still hate you, but the love I have for her overcomes the hate that I have for you. I do hope you take a long walk off a short pier and never come around her again.

Sincerely,

The Best Friend of the Girl You Raped