You’ve decided to allocate time to be without a man in your life. Regardless of the reason, it’s okay to be alone on Valentine’s day. There is nothing wrong with taking this time for yourself. You do so knowing that it is for your own good but also for the good of others. A relationship that happens when you aren’t ready is one written in disaster.

I know it can be hard to be the girl who refuses to be in a relationship, or even entertain the idea of one. Maybe you have even gone so far as to be disgusted by the mere mention of the concept. Most people looking in won’t understand. I know your friends have told you to find someone and that you shouldn’t be so closed off to love. Don’t listen, tell them this is what is right for you right now.

Right now. This isn’t forever and believe it or not slowly your ice heart will melt. It will happen slowly and naturally. Do not listen to the people who try to force your heart to open. Men will try to pry it open, so they can have it for their own. Say no. If it’s meant to be they will still be there when this is over.

It’s ok to be alone and it’s ok to be ok with it. The world idolizes relationships. You see it everywhere, the world is obsessed with the concept that everyone must have a man in their lives. The lonely girl is portrayed as a cat lady, or a complete b*tch. We are conditioned to believe that to be alone is to be incomplete. You are not incomplete. Maybe you are taking this time to figure out who you are, or maybe you already know. Regardless not wanting a relationship does not make you any less of a person.

So girl who is not ready for love, don’t cry this holiday. Treat yourself to new jewelry, flowers, and chocolates. I mean let’s be honest, you know how to treat you better than any man does. Own your independence this Valentine’s Day, knowing that one day you will allow love into your heart again. That day is not today, and it’s ok.