Dear Cold,
You suck. Contracting you was the worst thing I could do, and I instantly regret you. Attaching yourself to my life and making it so I cannot do the things that I love is one of the many things that makes me hate you. Because of you I could not breathe, eat, hear, sleep, speak, do homework, hangout with friends, or move. Having you in my life makes even the simplest things 10 times more difficult. Such as: going to the restroom, making ramen noodles, sitting up, brushing my teeth, etc. Everything is just strangely out of whack. Then to make things even worse you settle down a bit and go away for a few hours, making me believe that I am free, so as a result I attempt to function like a normal human being; but alas, you will always come back. I try to pass you off to others just to get you off my back, but for some reason they are inhumanly immune to your charms and you then hit me even harder than before.
Seriously, Cold, you make breathing hard to do. That is quite the accomplishment. You have succeeded in literally taking my breath away. Congrats. Sure, you may feel as if you have one some sort of victory over my heart, but let me inform you I am going to urgent care so I will be rid of you soon!
Well, Cold, urgent care essentially told me I have to deal with your lazy butt until you decide to leave. I can drug up my system full of Motrin, DayQuil, NyQuil, maybe throw in some Zzquil, but I doubt they will be very effective. You seem to be impervious to everything. But please, I have midterms coming up, I really need to focus on my schoolwork, and with you in my life that is just not as simple as I need it to be.
OK, I guess I am just going to have to sleep you out, maybe if I over sleep you will get bored and leave? You better get bored and leave. Well...I could always watch Netflix...*opens "Supernatural"* Sam and Dean will comfort me!