Dear all 13- to 18-year-old girls,

I know you’re at that stage of not wanting to listen to anybody else. You don’t like being told what to do, how to do it, or what to say. You’re always right. Your body is doing weird things, and nothing else matters besides you and your feelings. All that matters to you is the attention from that cute boy, whether it’s the slightest of eye contact in the school cafeteria, or a like on your Instagram picture. I get it, but I’m going to do the rather impossible and say listen to me: stop being selfish and start being nice. You are at an age where you can absorb so much information, so take advantage of it.

First of all, the people you surround yourself with at this age can influence your future greatly in every aspect. Even if these people, or the girl you call your best friend at this age, doesn’t stick around when you transition from middle school to high school, or part ways to college, you can learn a lot from them. These friends in high school will shape your mindset about how you enter your college years. They will set the expectations on the people you meet in your dorm your first year. You will have your guard up at first, not wanting to let anyone in because you are content with the friends you have had at home for years. Let me tell you right now, keep an open mind and destroy that guard you have mounted. Be open to meet new people. You will come across many different personalities in college, and the people you will meet will be from all different areas, raised in different ways. They will differ greatly from what you’re used to, and that is OK. In fact, that is fantastic. Take advantage of the opportunity to expand your network, and remember to be nice along the way.

Secondly, lets discuss parents. All of that ‘nonsense’ your mother says to you that you end up brushing off your shoulder like a dead fly, or don’t even take into the slightest of consideration, is true. It will take you awhile to realize it but everything she asks of you, every piece of advice, every rule she creates, is absolutely true and will overall benefit you in the long run. It took me until my 19th year to understand how honest and wonderful of a person my mother and all of her knowledge is, and I am so very grateful for it. Girls, listen to your mothers. You will be thanking her for the rest of your life. Whether its calling her while you’re standing alone in the grocery store aisle attempting to gather the materials to cook your first meal away from home, or the generous care packages she just happens to send at the most convenient times, you will be thanking her. And if you don’t thank her already, you should probably start.

Your father is probably one of the most irritating, overprotective, and unreasonable people in your life right now, right? Well trust me, he’s not. Dads think long-term. They know in the blink of an eye you will be off to college and soon enough living on your own. After that, the most dreaded but happiest part of getting married is happening so soon and he will be able to walk you down the aisle to hand you off to the love of your life, only for you to start a family of your own. Dads want to spend as much time as they can with you, so this is when you step in. Sit down and watch the Golf channel with him on a Thursday evening instead of driving around town with your friends. Pull up a chair at that bonfire in your backyard that your dad is drinking a beer alone at. Go out to breakfast with him on a Sunday morning instead of sleeping in. I promise you he will love every minute spent with you, even if it is only sitting in the same room watching TV.

Overall, it is important to take a second to slow down, step back, breathe, and appreciate what you already have at this age. You are a baby tadpole about to sprout into an elegant frog based on your surrounding environment. To be able to leap the highest and live the fullest you must stay humble, kind, and spread good vibes with everyone you encounter. As for that boy in the cafeteria, he will come to you. If not him, then someone else who is 10 times better will, don’t you worry. All you need to do is focus on the well being of yourself and keep the ones you love close to your heart.

Sincerely,

A 20-year-old girl who understands