Dear Summer Heat,

Why? Why are you so unbearable hot? I walk outside and literally feel my skin melting off my body. I feel as if I have walked into the depths of hell every time I leave the sweet comfort of air conditioning.

I know that it's summer and the earth is tilted more to the sun and all of that science stuff, but do you really have to be this bad? Who hurt you that now you want to make the rest of us suffer? Are you afraid that if you aren't deathly hot people won't notice you, because we definitely notice you, and not because we love you.

You know what would be nice? Being able to walk outside and not sweat so much that I feel like I just took a shower. I am constantly sticky. All the time. I don't like being sticky.

Some people tell me that I shouldn't complain because at least it isn't freezing cold, but the cold I can protect against. I can put on a jacket and gloves and drink hot cocoa. There is no jacket that protects against 896-degree weather, we just have to suffer.

And I have not even gotten started on the chub rub that you gave me. Do you know what happens when thighs get sweaty and sticky? They stick together! And chafe! You gave me chub rub. I have tried baby powder and deodorant and every other trick and my thighs still stick! The chub still rubs, OK, and it is not pleasant!

At the end of the day, I guess you aren't all bad. You keep the water warm so I can swim and escape the heat for a while. You provide an excuse for ice cream and snow cones. You are what makes summer, summer, even if I complain about everything. So thank you, despite the chub rub, because summer can't be beat.

Love,

Slowly Melting