Between work, school, and my younger siblings, I don't have the chance to go to church with my family often. I was raised Catholic, and I practice Catholicism as well. I have my own personal views about the religion, but I usually don't entertain religion as a topic of conversation. I am a little more laid back about some of the teachings and views than perhaps some of the other parishioners in the congregation. The times I do attend Mass, I usually find myself daydreaming and just going through the motions. Just standing, sitting, kneeling, standing, kneeling, sitting, standing when everyone else does. If you asked, I wouldn't be able to tell you what the readings or homily was about.

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However, during this Sunday's Father's Day Mass, I experienced something different. Admittedly, and also a little guiltily, I arrived late, just as our ordained minister's homily was getting started. Once I found where my family was seated and got myself situated, I tuned in to what was being said. Unexpectedly, I was surprised by the topic.

The homily followed a reading from Galatians 3:26-29, which talks about how, no matter who or what we are, we are all loved and equal to God.

Deacon Bill Briggs delivered a moving oration about the suffering and burden we all bear and how we may unknowingly and unintentionally affect those around us. I don't think I could properly do the speech justice by putting it into my own words, and I don't think I could replicate the same inspiring impact it had on me, so here is Deacon Bill's homily:

"Mother's Day and Father's Day are problematic, especially Father's Day. Some young people today have no real relationship with their fathers. And many others have a relationship that could be termed destructive.

Charles Sell, in his book Unfinished Business, tells about David Simmons, a former cornerback for the Dallas Cowboys. Dave's father was a military man, and he was extremely demanding. He rarely said a kind word. He never permitted his son to feel any satisfaction about anything he did. He always push him to do better....

As an adult, David Simmons became a man of faith, and God's love caused him to reach out to his dad. It was then that he first learned about his grandfather... on his dad's side. He really hadn't known anything about his dad's upbringing. His grandfather had been a tough lumberjack. He was known for his quick temper. He was also known for regularly beating his son, Dave's dad.

This information caused David Simmons to feel more sympathy for his dad. As he put it, "Knowing about my father's upbringing... helped me see that... under the circumstances... he might have done much worse." By the time his father died, David and his dad were friends.

I'm thankful that Dave was able to reconcile with his dad. It never happens in some families. People go to their graves never able to forgive or forget. It even affects their feelings about God. It is very difficult for some people to play, "Our Father..." when their entire image of "father" has been distorted.

I hope that is not true for any of us. But here's the good news for today. It matters not what kind of relationship we have with your earthly parents, we have a heavenly parent who is everything that we could ever hope for in a mom or dad... forgiving... accepting... a parent who believes in us... who created us in His image. We are the apple of that Father's eye.

Do you remember Max Lucida's famous words? "If God had a refrigerator, you picture would be on it... if He had a wallet, your photo would be in it... He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning... Face it. He is crazy about you!"

For the past few weeks, we have been dealing with the theme, When Good People Have Bad Times. One reason many good people have bad times is that they carry around baggage from past experiences or relationships. Many people have had their self-image trampled on at home... at school from bigots and bullies... or on the job. For them, it is not simply a matter of having sporadic times of adversity. They carry their bad times within almost all of the time in their decision making. There is no use in changing locations or changing jobs or even changing spouses or friends. They cannot escape themselves. What do we do when it is the inner self that has been damaged?

W. Paul Jones tells the story of a woman who suffered from polio during her childhood. Some of you have never seen a young person crippled by polio-- confined to a wheelchair, or crutches-- or even worse, an iron lung. Thank God and Jonas Salk that you have not. It's a terrible thing to happen to a young person.

But the effect on the self-image of the woman that W. Paul Jones tells about was worse than her physical pain. Here is how she viewed herself. She said that when, as a child, her mother would leaver her in Sunday school, she would always ask her mother if she could wear her mother's locket. Her mother assumed she had a special attachment to the locket. That wasn't it at all. Here is how she [the woman] explained her relationship to the locket. She says, "I knew I wasn't worth coming back for, but I know my mother would come back for her locket." How incredibly sad to feel that way about yourself. So when we act out against others... remember that it may affect that person for the rest of their lives.

Many good people have bad times because they carry around baggage from past experiences or relationships... that have crushed their self-esteem...

Others carry around baggage because they have been humiliated and put down because of their gender, their looks, ethnicity, race or some other personal characteristic. Some of us know what I'm talking about. Others would prefer I ignore the whole issue altogether.

Here is what we need to see: God has one passion and that is people... you and I and every person on this earth. God loves you not because of your race, not because you are male or female, not because you are American, not because you are physically attractive, not because you come from the right socio-economic class. God loves you because you are you... He loves us so much that He sent His Son on our behalf. But never forget God sent His Son on behalf of every person on earth. And, if God can love every person on earth, so should we.

It is amazing to me that in a nation that considers itself a Christian nation, we are still fighting battles over gender equality or racial equality or any of the other battles concerning the rights of all people to live in dignity and freedom from discrimination. I suppose it is because many of us have never been on the receiving end of such poor treatment as some have.

St. Paul had some insight..."There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus..." That wasn't in the 21st century when he wrote this. This was almost 2,000 years ago. Why then are we still fighting these battles for tolerance and acceptance today? It is absurd particularly for followers of Jesus. Our God has a passion for people... all people.

If this should be true for anyone of us... today... Father's Day would be a good day for a fresh new start. A change to be like God and a friend... it is then that we are the children of God... that He wants us to be....

He sends us flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning... Face it, Christians... He is crazy about us! If we understand the truth and deep meaning in these words... know that what God wants from us is simply for us to go out and spread that same love to everyone we encounter.

I think we have all heard the words... we cannot understand what a person is going through... until we have walked a mile in someone else's shoes."

- Deacon Bill Briggs, (June 19th 2016), Liturgical Year C Week 12 Ordinary Time, St. Casimir's Church, Delran, NJ, Resurrection Parish

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The Deacon became emotional at one point during his homily, becoming upset at how, as brothers and sisters of God and as human beings, people treat each other with such hate and misunderstanding, that we treat each other with such hate and misunderstanding. It was such a refreshing take on the discussion, different from what we hear in the media trying to separate people, different from stereotype and stigma about the "strict, rigid beliefs" of the Catholic Church. I was so moved and found it so relatable, that even I was overcome with emotion.

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Here's why...

I didn't grow up "normal." I'm the oldest of four kids and, growing up, I was basically the third parent. I was quite quiet as a child and teenager, keeping to myself, not sharing anything about myself more than I had to because I didn't have time to make connections. I had my "kids" to care for. In high school, I started struggling with physical and mental issues. My hormones weren't as they should be and I was different. I didn't "fill-out" like a normal teenage girl, instead I transitioned into a stockier, broad-shouldered figure. I wasn't interested in dating or crushes, or the topic of cute boys and clothes and pop star concerts. My thoughts were preoccupied with the school work and extracurricular activities of both my own and my siblings, and also things I had to get done at home before Mom would come home from work.

I ballooned weight inexplicably. I ate the same thing everyone else in my family ate and I was physically active even more so. I never felt comfortable in my own body. I was overweight, I was lonely, I was sad, and I was struggling. But because I didn't want to burden those around me, I kept all of that under lock and key. Poor choice on my part, because those feelings resurfaced when I grew older and when I went off to college, when I no longer had the distraction of my family, and I was alone with my thoughts.

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I kept gaining weight in college no matter what I tried. I was struggling to be around people and found it increasingly difficult to motivate myself to do well in my academics. The problem was I never acquired the ability to express myself, to let go of my baggage and feelings, to ask for help. Unexpectedly, but very rarely, I would lash out because of an emotion that exceeded capacity and reached it's bursting point. I felt alone and believed no one else would understand. I was projecting my emotional baggage onto the people around me.

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Eventually, I realized it was only going to get worse unless I put aside my childhood reservations and opened myself up to others. And so I did.

I sought out counseling, I keep a journal, and I even came out to parents as pansexual. When I came home from college, I requested testing for psychological illnesses. Over the span of a year, I was diagnosed with a multitude of various psychological disorders. I was hesitant to inform my parents of the specifics. My mother and father are a little more conservative in that area, not knowing the science behind the treatments or the severity of some of the disorders. They were stubborn and close-minded, but through my coming out to them and talking them through my disorders in ways they understand is helping to broaden their views. Today's homily did just that as well. It strayed from the maybe close-minded, old-fashioned, religious community topic that I usually doze off during.

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It hit so close to home with my own experiences and with a rule I try to adhere to every day of my life, in everything I do. The Golden Rule is to, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12). Personally, I use the shorter version as a mantra, "Do to others as you would have them do to you." (Luke 6:31).

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I was completely captivated by Deacon Bill's homily. Somehow, he bulls-eyed his speech directly to our hearts and souls, and as I looked around the congregation, I could see expressions of relief and understanding on various faces.

I hope you continuously strive to expand your beliefs and open your mind and yourself, and I hope you strive to expand those of others and those around you.

I hope you find solace and sodality in Deacon Bill Brigg's words as I did.

Please know, you are not alone. In the words of Bob Marley,

"Emancipate youself from mental slavery, none but our self can free our minds."

Together, we can create a more accepting, understanding, loving, open community.

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