Look--please don't think of this as an attack. You and I have been through so much together, but I think it's finally time I told you how I really feel. Goodness knows I've talked about you to my friends, my family, and sometimes even complete strangers, but I feel that I can no longer hide my feelings from you. I know that some people won't agree with what I'm about to say, but they don't know you like I do. I've known you my entire life--I've seen what you can be, what you've become, and how good the good old days really were. There's no denying that I've grown a bit...unhappy, with you as of late, but I can no longer keep it bottled up. There's something I need to say to you, and it might not be easy to hear. So, please, just let me say my piece and be done with it.

More often than not, you drive me absolutely crazy. You've just been so unpredictable lately! It's infuriating! One second, you're perfectly cool and nice, and then next second, you're a volatile mess, so hot-headed I feel like I might catch on fire. And it's almost always without warning--the back and forth and the extended periods of your fiery rage countered by only a few days of a relatively chill break is starting to make me lose it. You just have no consideration for the feelings of others, and your inability to get it together is pushing me over the edge.

I mean, it's only February! It's way too early in the year for you to be so heated and temperamental. I'd expect it of you maybe half-way through the year, since summer is usually a pretty rough season for you--you just get so fiery and dangerous, even I can get a little scared of you. But we're smack-dab in the middle of winter--a time of year to bundle up and be cozy, happy, and relaxed, maybe even enjoying a nice walk through the rain on occasion--and instead, you're acting like a complete nightmare. This is especially true when one of your mood changes happens suddenly, leaving me no time to prepare. Honestly, sometimes I'm completely blindsided by just how quickly you turn from pleasantly mild to cold and dark with almost no warning. It totally ruins my day! As the wise sage Katy Perry once said, "You're hot then you're cold, you're 'yes' then you're 'no,' you're in then you're out, you're up then you're down." Clearly, she must have written that song about you, because, let's face it, the constant highs and lows with you are exhausting.

I mean, just think about all those times you tried to dictate what I should wear! How dare you! Just when I'm looking forward to cozying up in a new sweater or trying out a scarf I've been waiting to wear for ages, you show up and suddenly I can't? How is that fair? Just because you're constantly trying to maintain the "chill beachy vibes" everyone knows you for doesn't mean I have to wear shorts every time you decide to throw a fit. We get it; you like the beach--but stop making us all feel like we have to dress like you. Yeah, sometimes it's fun to dress like a beach bum, I get it, but honestly? Every once in a while, it would be nice to throw on an extra jacket without getting any flack from you, thanks.

And the worst part is, you're such a tease! You tempt me with the ominous, brooding feeling that I always associate with the indisputably desirable Mr. Darcy--the cloudy, gloomy disposition that is, to be quite honest, a welcome relief from your often overwhelmingly sunny disposition--only to turn back on your word and give me heat for even hoping for a little change of pace. I really thought that "El Niño" guy would make good on his threats to put you in your place, but he's taking a little too long to get here and I'm getting tired of waiting. I'm begging you to stop leaving me so high and dry--it's like a desert out here! I can't rely on you for anything, you just take and take and take without any give and I just can't stand it anymore. Just open up and let it out!

Listen, I know a lot of people will give me flack for making my true feelings known. People who don't know you, or have only heard of you from afar tell me I'm crazy for wanting something different. They say, "Why try and change perfection?" Sometimes, they hit me with the classic, "You're so lucky...if I was in your shoes, I'd never complain!" If they all like you so much, maybe they should just marry you because I'm sick and tired of being disappointed by you again and again. Maybe if you learned to take it down a notch sometimes and be cooler about everything, we wouldn't be having these problems. But you and I both know that's not really your style, is it?

I mean, maybe this isn't about you as much as it is about me. I hate to be cliché, but so many people really do love you just the way you are--maybe this just isn't meant to be. Perhaps it's just time for me to explore my options and get out of here, far away from you, and learn to explore what else is out there without you in my life. We both know I won't be going anywhere anytime soon, but, when I do, you can be sure that its probably for the best. And, who knows? Maybe I'll come back someday, and your warm embrace will be a homecoming unlike any other. But, until then, I do have a favor to ask you--can you just, you know, chill out? Please?