Dear Society,

Thank you for telling me for the past two decades of my life that I’m not beautiful. Thank you for showcasing that if I wear eccentric styles, I’m weird. Thank you for shoving popular teen fashion and culture magazines down my throat from the time I started puberty. Thank you for telling me that if I’m not societally acceptable that I will never have friends or any romantic encounters.

In the words of Clark Gable, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

I popped out of the womb with belly rolls and double D's. Growing up, I always wore clothes a few sizes bigger than other kids, and I’ve accepted that for as long as I can remember. When the baby fat didn’t come off, I just shrugged my shoulders and went on with my life. I’m a bigger girl and I’m not ashamed. I think I’m beautiful.

Don’t you dare come at me in the name that “you’re concerned for my health” either. I walk over my daily Fitbit goal, participate in daily yoga, go to a university where it’s impossible to walk anywhere without hills and stairs, and have a clear bill of health.

I know girls that wear over a size 10 and can run circles around skinny girls. You say that to be healthy we have to be skinny. And I am not conventionally skinny. However, I know many girls in my life that get skinny-shamed, but they're some of the strongest girls I know and are proud of their petite frame. It's important to remember that health does not equal our clothing size.

We humans have fingernails, but we wouldn’t call ourselves "fingernails." We also have fat, so why are we calling ourselves "fat" in such a negative tone? Just because I carry more weight than someone else doesn’t make me less of a person. Some people just can’t help being bigger. Some people can’t help being smaller. It’s in our genes and even if we’d like to change it, we really can’t. My thighs jiggle when I walk, I have rolls when I sit down, shirts are tight over my chest, and I have a double-chin when I lay down. So what? That makes me HUMAN.

Just because we as people are not built the same does not mean that we are less important, or less attractive than anyone else. You, society, claim that if girls don’t have big chests, tiny waists, and big butts, we will never have a man be interested in us.

Also, if men don’t have washboard abs, defined chests, and muscly arms they will never get a girl. It is so unfair and so skewed that we have let these physical traits determine a person’s sense of belonging in a relationship. Last time I checked, big pecs won’t keep a girl emotionally satisfied at the end of the day. Will slender legs provide support for a rough patch in a relationship? Nope. Being an intellectual, caring, funny, respecting, and loving individual are the things that really matter— not how cute you look together.

You, society, pressure us women into being unattainable versions of ourselves. And frankly, it’s bullshit.

“But if I do this, then I’ll be pretty!” Oh, come on.

Five years ago, thigh gaps and glorified anorexia was popular. Now the focus has shifted to being thick— but only in the right areas: hips, butt, thighs, and boobs. If you’re bigger up top or any other deviation from this standard, then STRIKE, you’re out. The 70s featured a lean athletic shape; the 90s brought a thin, willowy appearance; the 30s emphasized the straight, boyish frame— trends will come and go, but does that make you worth anything less than what you are? Hell, no. Beauty has no number.

Beauty isn’t a catch-all term; it’s subjective to each person.

Thanks to the rise of social media, “What makes YOU stand out from the crowd?” is what is constantly running through our minds. “Will this picture get likes, or will THIS one?” “Is this angle too weird?” “Is my outfit too edgy or boring?” Popular trends, especially with fashion, have risen to fame thanks to Instagram.

Not only the bodies that showcase them, but the clothes themselves. If it wasn’t for these popular ‘grams, we wouldn’t be obsessed with Yeezys, fishnets under ripped jeans, clear plastic boots, and strappy barely-there tops. Not all of these styles flatter everyone. Fashion is supposed to show off individuality and creativity, not to copycat each other and force-consume it via our newsfeeds.

The beauty industry also feels the need to shove individuals into being cardboard cutouts of each other; it comes across that we must be the same or else we are unattractive. In recent years, makeup companies have been thrown into the fire for not including darker shades in their foundation and concealer ranges. Along the same lines, I have struggled finding shades pale enough for my Anglo-Irish skin, and my pale friends can attest. Without celebrating our differences, we are nothing.

Inclusion and recognition are the keys to success. It’s not fair that our sisters (and brothers) of color are excluded because they don’t fit the norms of beauty. And my god, it’s SO EXPENSIVE. Why are we hashing out hundreds of dollars for mediocre products? I’m proud to use my $8 mascara. Not only are products popular, but expensive skincare treatments have taken over every social media platform I have. Eyelash lifts, micro-needling, 24 karat gold facials… Have y’all never head of Vaseline?

I’m 100% for treating yourself and taking time to “do you," but I’m not going to spend my hard-earned money on a cosmetic that doesn’t even work just because it’s sickeningly popular. It’s time to celebrate our freckles, our birthmarks, our kinky-curly hair, our patchy eyebrows, our cellulite, our snaggleteeth, our hooded eyes— these things that make us unique.

Society, you force so much pressure on appearance that we tend to forget the qualities of a person that actually matter. I don’t care if someone’s hips are 34 inches. I care if they’re an honest person. I don’t care if someone carries a Kate Spade or Louis Vuitton purse. I care if they have a riveting sense of humor. I don’t care if someone has eyelash extensions. I care if they’re passionate for the things they believe in.

I’m not saying to overthrow the fashion and beauty industry altogether because they’re full of lies— It’s my guilty pleasure to flip through the pages of Vogue or watch popular makeup videos on YouTube. I’m just saying that it’s time to step back and realize that the superficial things shouldn’t matter as much as they do.

It’s time that we redefine the norms of what it means to be conventionally attractive.

My dearest society, you can kiss my beautiful, fat ass.

Love, a girl taking a stand.