Right now, Valentine’s Day is a fun filled holiday for you. It is filled with classroom valentine parties, exchanging the cute little cards and gaining candy, then comparing it to how much your friends get. Valentine’s Day is another friend appreciation day almost. However, that will soon change and as a girl who didn’t have a boyfriend my whole high school career, there are some things I want you to know.
First and foremost, I want you to know that despite what you will hear, Valentine’s Day is NOT ‘Single-Awareness Day’. Most of the people who cling to this idea are people who feel they need a relationship to survive. While relationships can be nice, you never want to be in one because everyone else around you is in one and you feel like you have to be in one. Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love, romantic or platonic. A lot of time, friends stop appreciating each other and only focus on the significant others. I found during high school that Valentine's Day is more fulfilling when you, instead of wallowing around in self-pity because you don’t have a ‘lover’, treat your friends to their favorite candy or surprise them with cute little notes in their lockers. Do not let society take away the meaning of Valentine’s Day
Secondly, I want you to know that when Valentine’s Day comes around, your friends who are in a relationship will be a little more… flaunting… of their relationships. Get ready for sappy social media posts and a bunch of rolling your eyes. However, do not rain on their parade. Just smile and nod, then continue on with your life. Especially in high school, when loves are first loves, these kids think that they will end up together forever. Will they? Probably not, but don’t take away from the moment with negativity.
As well, do not weigh your value against the attention you get from those around you. In high school, hormones are rampant and everybody is changing both physically and emotionally. What one person might find attractive, others might not. When you live your life for the acceptance of others, you will get bogged down with voices in your head bringing negativity. Why doesn’t he think you’re pretty? Because the boy has other things on his mind and he is irrelevant right now. Do NOT change yourself for anybody. The right person will come around and fall in love with your personality first. That is what you want, not for a boy to fall in love with your body first. Your looks should be an added bonus to the right guy. I’ll be brutally honest. He will probably not come along in high school.
Also, I want you to realize that relationships are hard work, very hard work. Two people with minds and dreams of their own do not just naturally have a great relationship. It takes a ton of time and a lot of giving of yourself. You have to learn how to communicate and be confident in yourself. This reason alone, I highly recommend not getting involved with anyone during high school. You have so much to experience, so many trials ahead, that adding another person’s happiness to the plate when you don’t even know who you are yet is a formula for heartache.
Know that no matter what you do, I will be here for you to lend a shoulder to cry on. My phone will always be on for you to call late at night to vent about the struggles you will face. I’ve been there. I’ve felt the loneliness of being the third wheel and feeling like you’ve lost your friends to their boyfriends. Stay strong and remember to celebrate your love for yourself and your friends on Valentine's Day, because you are loved.
-Your Big Sister
