Kate,
First- just breathe. There is so much going on around you and sometimes you feel as if you're suffocating. I know, you’re terrified that it’s not going to work out. Embrace the uncertainty; it is going to be okay. Just breathe. Oh, and stop getting mad at others when they tell you to step back and breathe. It’s all necessary.
College- the dreaded word that seems to follow you everywhere. It’s on every bulletin board at school and it seems to be the only question mom’s friends want the answer to. Be patient and take the time you need. Everything's going to fall perfectly into place. It will be the last thing you expect to happen. But I will fill you in on a secret- you made the right decision. And girl, it was an amazing one.
I know you hate thinking about leaving high school. You have been blessed with so much, all of which will make saying goodbye so hard. Cherish it all, even the rainy days, every poor grade, and all the “eh” practices. Understand how much the teachers care and give them everything they are giving you. Soon you’ll be sitting in a big lecture hall and you’ll be known as a number. Try something new, be bold! Your days as a high school student are running out, so do it. You know that thing that you have been pushing off since freshman year? It’s your time-- get moving!
It is the little, unseeingly important things that you will miss. Things that you have had all your life-- rides to the river with dad and Sunday afternoons with mom. It has taken me a month into college to realize how special these little moments are. So, before you storm out with your friends because you “won’t be seeing them” soon, remember, you won't be seeing mom and dad either. Give dad plenty of bear hugs while you can and don’t wait to tell mom how much you love her. Drive that annoying little brother where he needs to be and take your cousins shopping. Make time to get lunch with your mom-moms. Don’t you dare take all these things for granted, no matter how small they seem.
Now, on another note, stop being so damn hard on yourself. You are doing fine. Actually, you are doing so much better than fine. It’s okay to take a step back sometimes. Admit that you need a break and take one. Do something for yourself each day. (You’ll value this trick next year.) Believe that you are exactly where you are meant to be. The more faith you have, the less fear you will have. Continue to pray every night before bed. It will bring you the peace you need to sleep.
Most importantly, Kate, enjoy every second. You have some of the best memories lined up in front of you. It’s a year full of “lasts” so, again, CHERISH it all.
This year will go by so fast. Try not to blink. Don’t you worry; you’re going to love it here.
Love,
Freshman Fall Kate