Dear Mom,

I’m writing to you today because it is a day set aside to commemorate you. It’s a day for you to sit back—even though you won’t— and not worry about all your kids running around-- though they will-- or making the meal, or completing any of your daily tasks. Today is Mother’s Day, the 19th Mother’s Day I’ve spent with you. Honestly, I’m not really sure where to begin. Over the years I’ve written you hundreds of things: cards, letters, poems, stories, songs, and more. Every time I start to write, I go into all of the reasons I’m thankful for you and how great I think you are. There are a million reasons I’m thankful for you and you truly are the greatest mom in the history of the world, but today I think I’ll switch things up a bit.

I’m writing to you today, mom, to talk about who you are and the things I want in life for you. Ever since I can remember, you’ve always been under-spoken. You’ve never voiced many of the opinions that I now know you have, and you’ve always let us speak for ourselves and what we believe. Growing up, I never understood strict moms because mine only grounded me when I threw a major fit or betrayed her trust. You have always been one of my closest friends, someone who’s easy to open up to—even when I don’t want to talk about it—and who gives 110 percent of her love without having to think twice about it. You’re klutzy, ditzy, even, in the best of ways because you don’t care if you look weird or if someone hears us talking to each other in the voice of Gru from Despicable Me. You’ve never been good at sports, let’s face it, but you have the strongest determination I’ve ever seen. Your food has always been comforting and delicious, though not always appreciated. You’ll forever be my makeshift hair stylist, fashion designer, and home decorator. Together, we’re terrible singers, but we always know every word to the song. You’re a chauffeur who never gets paid, the permanent third wheel for all of your kids, and you’ve always had the brightest smile in the room.

All of this may sound as if I’m talking about you as a mom, which I said I wasn’t going to do, but really it’s me talking about you as a person. Every part of you is a mom. Though I know you had dreams and aspirations and probably didn’t imagine when you were young that you would have someone relying on you at the age of nineteen, what makes who you are is being a mom. To everyone you come in contact with, with your endless giving and swollen heart that I can only hope to one day achieve. You are someone who always puts exactly who you are out on the table and you don’t have to change anything about yourself to be a great mother and a great person.

Speaking of aspirations and achievements, I know it’s typical for the mother to be the one in the relationship to want things in life for her kids but there are many things that I want in life for you. As far back as I can remember, you have put yourself in the back seat and us in the front. You have allowed us to shine and do whatever we wanted to do while you made sure nothing went wrong in the meantime. Though I’ve asked you before if you ever wanted to do anything else besides being a stay at home mom for all those years, you’ve always simply answered that you had no regrets.

My contention is that having no regrets isn’t the same as being satisfied or, further, being happy with what you’re doing. This isn’t to say that you aren’t happy being a mother because I know that it’s absolutely not true and as I’ve already said, being a mother is just who you are. However, it is to say that I think you’ve been selling yourself a bit short. Recently, you going back to school has shown me that you do have things that you still want to do and that you are willing to work to flourish in your potential.

What I want for you is for you to be able to feel like you’re making a difference in your own life and the lives of others, like I know you hope to do. I want for you to be able to come home and open the door to a clean kitchen, vacuumed living room, and a warm glass of tea waiting for you next to a book on the couch. I want for you to not have to worry about whether what you’re doing is going to allow you to make enough money for everyone to live comfortably. I want you to laugh and smile for days on end, without having to stop and collect yourself in the middle of turmoil.

Mom, I’m writing to you today to tell you that I love you, to tell you that I believe in you and that this is only the beginning of what you can accomplish. I’m writing so you know that I think of you as more than just a mom but as someone who is present in every single part of my life and who I am.

Happy Mother’s Day.