Dear loved one,
The road to recovery may be long, but you're doing it rather well. You went through some tough times, and struggled to get back on the right path, but I couldn't be more proud than where you stand today.
However, I used to not stand beside you. I used to stand facing you, facing you from the other side. In the process of changing yourself, you changed everyone. I tried so hard to look at you and see the person I grew up with, to see the loved one I looked up to. I thought that perhaps society was altering my perception of you, but I came to realize that the thing that changed you were the drugs.
As I stood staring at you from the other side, I began to build walls. These walls were around me, my heart, and my mind. I cut you off from me, and I wanted nothing to do with you. To me, it seemed as though every time you came near me, everything I knew faded away, and those around me changed. They changed in order to please you, to not step on your toes. Knowing something was wrong, but not understanding what it was. I came to resent you, and my once happy self dissolved into the sea of life, losing who I once was.
Quickly though, we came to realize that this change in your personality, your appearance, and your attitude wasn't by your choosing, but rather by the drugs you chose to take. I didn't understand why you started the drugs, and I didn't want to. All I knew was that you made the woman who gave birth to us, raised us, and fed us, cry. I disowned you. I separated myself from you in as many ways as possible. I did well in school, joined clubs and lead those clubs, and applied to some of the top universities in our state.
Then you got caught and I was relieved. I was relieved to not be afraid for myself anymore, nor be afraid for you. You went to rehab and wrote all the time. I never wrote back. I was still so angry with you. I couldn't face what you had to say. Mother would write to you, Father would visit and so would brother. I stayed home. I stayed because I didn't know what to say to you. I didn't know how to talk to you. You made my life hell, how could I forgive you?
However, Mother forced me to go one visit, and I sat in the car in silence. I still didn't know what to say. We arrived and waited in line, and I saw everyone being reunited with people they cared for. The people who were on the side facing them. They were facing them, but they weren't staring in wonder, they were staring with caring, forgiving eyes. The line dwindled down, and I saw you waiting behind the counter on the other side. My heart was racing. Not from anger, not from adrenaline, but from anticipation. The lady signed me in and my Mother nudged me forward. Slowly, I walked towards you. You saw me from the moment I walked in and hadn't stopped looking at me.
I couldn't take the waiting anymore. I walked faster and faster, until I ran into your arms. I cried as you held me tight, and realized everyone was watching. Everyone was watching the two sisters who had drifted so far apart, to be reunited in this one moment. Tears fell from several faces, and I realized that no one planned to be here. They all made their choices, but so did the people facing them. Everyone makes bad choices, but what matters are the people that stand by you when those bad choices are made.
So dear loved one, the road to recovery may be long, but you're doing it rather well. You went through some tough times, and struggled to get back on the right path, but I couldn't be more proud than where you stand today, and I stand by you.
Love always,
Your Baby Sister
