Most people have been in a relationship with someone who was toxic. A person who was so self-consumed they couldn’t see, or just didn’t care, how much they were hurting you. A person who made you feel worse instead of better. A person who made you cry more than they made you laugh. It always feels impossible to get rid of these people, especially if they meant something to you at some point (as most friends do). Although, there comes a point where you just have to let go.

You can’t let people like this consume you because usually they somehow do. They know how to get at you and abuse you and how to make you somehow feel terrible all the time. It’s not okay to be in relationships like this, but the good moments make it feel like it’s worth it. I promise you, it isn’t. Getting rid of toxic people is better than living with them. You will find people who give you those good moments without the toxicity and they will make you realize that you can’t keep the toxic friends.

“People change”, but you can’t wait for someone to change when they’re making your life so much worse. I’ve had friends ruin entire years for me or ruin other friendships and my biggest regret was not letting go of them sooner. I always worried about how they would feel, even though they could care less about how I felt all the time. Maybe letting go of them will make them realize they are abusive or at the very least, they will get over it. It’s okay to be “selfish”- if someone is making you feel worse about yourself and consumes you somehow, you need to get rid of them. It is never okay that someone makes you feel worse about yourself to feel better about themselves.

However long you stay in that friendship, you aren’t alone. You can be in a toxic friendship for years, but you will still feel better getting out of it. It is so impressive to be able to let go of people who aren’t good for you no matter how long you were with them. There will always be people who went through something similar and can help you.

The most important thing is to put yourself first and realize that if someone doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, it is okay to let go of them.