I used to be you. I used to the girl that always said yes and did everything they could to help everyone. I used to do my best to be nice and be there for everyone around me.

We both know it isn’t easy. It isn’t easy to put everyone before yourself. It makes it easier for others to take advantage of you, but because you’re nice, you forgive them more times than you should. You think that because you’re nice, you can’t hold a grudge. You think that because you’re nice, you can’t do what is best for you because it will hurt someone else.

People manipulate you and your feelings because they know that if they make you feel bad, you will do what they want because you are nice, because you care.

You have learned that people aren’t like you. People aren’t nice. People hurt others and they don’t care. They do what is best for themselves without a second thought about those around them.

But those are things you can’t do. Sometimes you think about it. Sometimes you think that it would be easier to be selfish and worry about yourself more than anyone else, but you know that you can’t do that. You know that it is not in your personality to stop caring about others.

Your heart is seven sizes too big and there is no way that you can shrink. You shouldn’t shrink it. You are a good person, and there aren’t enough people out there like you. But you need to learn to care about yourself, too.

Even if you care about yourself, you are still nice. Caring about yourself and doing what is best for yourself doesn’t make you a mean person. Saying no once in a while doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you human. You’re allowed to worry about yourself for a change. You are allowed to stick up for yourself. It isn’t a crime.

I used to believe that it was wrong to say no, or to care about myself more than some people, but that doesn’t make me mean or a bad person. It took a 9-year-old hockey player telling me, “You can’t always be nice when people are mean,” for me to learn that.

The hockey player was right. I couldn’t keep letting others take advantage of me because I was nice. I had to do what was best for myself once in a while. I had to stick up for myself and stop letting people walk all over me just because I was nice.

Doing these things doesn’t mean I’m no longer nice. It means that I have the self-respect to not let those that hurt me once hurt me again.

I’m still a nice person and I’m nice to almost everyone. I didn’t shrink my heart; it’s still seven sizes too big.

Remember, even if you worry about yourself, you’re still nice. You’re still a good person. Nothing will change that. It isn’t a bad thing to care about yourself as much as you care about everyone else.