As someone who is always the go-to person, who others seem to open up to easily about things, you are also the person who never speaks about themselves and is never asked how they are doing. I know the feeling, so I will be the one to say it to you: how are you doing? And when I say this, I mean how are you really. Usually when you are asked this you have a million worries come up in your head, but yet you still say "I'm fine" or "I'm well" because you know that the person asking you really does not want to engage in an actual conversation... or that your worries and problems are not important and telling someone will just make you seem like you are complaining, and you don't want to put your "burden" on someone else because that will just drive them away.
As much as I would love to say that everyone who asks how you are actually means it, most do not. But that is nothing against you, they are just people who prefer small talk, or who are not as good active listeners as they are talkers. It did not take me long to realize this. But what did take a while to learn was that just because some people do not care or do not want a conversation, does not mean that your problems are invalid. It also does not mean that you can never talk about them in fear that you are complaining.You feel this way because everyone goes to you to about their problems in one way or another, and if you show weakness then you feel like you are letting everyone down.
Whether it is someone who wants advice on what to do about a situation, to talk about their worries to relieve stress, or someone you don't know that well, but they are attracted to your attitude and feel comfortable enough with you trust you and open up, you feel pressured to hold yourself together. You don't want to let people who trust you to see that you are in fact not as well put together as you make yourself out to be, because if you do, then you will lose your composure of being trustworthy.
I know that you think this, and you are not wrong for thinking this way; I just think you should give yourself more credit where it is deserved. You are strong and beautiful, and confiding in someone is not showing weakness or burdening someone with your problems. You are human, and you cannot help people and take on their problems if you do not keep yourself healthy in the process. You do not have to talk about your problems all the time, as that does create a problem in blocking you from helping others, but knowing when it is the right time to vent or open up to someone you trust, will help you become mentally healthier so you can help the people who come to you.
Having even one person you can go to about things that are stressing you out will make your world a much lighter place to walk around in. I know it seems hard, but everything can be hard and if it is not, then that means it is not a lesson or you are not learning. Even I am just learning how to open up to a couple of people, but even though I am not completely open, what I am opening up about is making everything much easier to deal with, including being there for people when they need me.
So please be good to yourself, because you are not an inconvenience. Say what is on your mind. I promise that you are not in any way complaining, because you are finding a way to get through what you are going through, and you will become a stronger person from it. You are beautiful, smart, courageous, headstrong, trustworthy, and most importantly, human. So I will not be afraid to ask you, how are you doing, really?
