Perfectionism is a quality that seems appealing unless you truly experience its suffocating characteristics. It seems to many, who don't know the true meaning of the word, as a simple character flaw. Others mistakingly see it as a virtue. However, it goes far beyond being scrupulous or finicky. What most don't know is that it's often paralyzing.
It is difficult to avoid succumbing to the many pressures that being a perfectionist entails. Whether it's in a specific setting-such as an athletic court, a classroom, or a work environment-or regarding one's personal life such as your self-image, your role in relationships, or your social reputation; the reality of never being satisfied with yourself is a harsh one. Regardless of how much recognition or encouragement you receive, what always sticks in your mind is what you could have done better. Say, for example, you served 10 aces in a volleyball match. Your coaches and teammates would applaud you, give you a pat on the back, and say "that's great!". However, the very first question you would ask yourself is why you didn't work harder in practice to get 11 aces. Say you got a 99% on a test. Your parents and professors would praise you for your intelligence and work ethic. You would be irritated at yourself and dwell on the fact that you should have studied more of the material for that one question you missed.
It's a vicious cycle, one that is so easy to get tangled up in. This idiosyncrasy has followed me throughout my grammar school, high school, and college careers. Constantly lurking in the back of my mind, patiently waiting to assert itself lest I forget that I will never be good enough by my own standards. I've learned, however, that failure often best prepares us for a myriad of future experiences. Those who harbor fear of defeat are condemned to an extraordinarily boring existence. Failure is inevitable. As terrifying as this is to us perfectionists, inevitable is synonymous with "beyond our control."
Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not at all saying "Well, if you're going to fail anyway, what's the point of trying?". Quite the contrary. I implore you, dive into every new experience head-first. Leave your inhibitions in the past and have the voracity to chase down your every aspiration with reckless abandon. Most importantly, do so without the all too familiar shackles of apprehension. As your own biggest critic, you're also the only one who can liberate yourself. Break free. Try, try again. Most importantly, act upon the passions of your heart, not the premonitions in your brain.
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." -Winston Churchill
