To the parents I will never meet,

Hi, I know you don't know me and never will but first of all I would like to thank you. Thank you for giving me up. I never thought I would ever want to say that to anyone but here I am thanking you for putting me up for adoption. I don't even know if I should call you parents because in my eyes my adoptive parents are the only ones for me. To me you are a mystery.

I love mysteries.

But some are just not meant to be solved. Not only am I not interested in finding you but it would be difficult due to the language barrier. Since I was adopted from South Korea to the US I wouldn't even be able to communicate with you. I must say that this mystery is the only mystery I want to stay a mystery.

Solving mysteries or any problem at that matter has always been easy and interesting to me. Maybe it's because my life is a mystery due to the adoption. Maybe all my characteristics are because I was given up. I don't think my fear of abandonment comes from my parents now.

That is one thing I do not thank you for.

For that fear that everyone will eventually give up on me or be forced to leave me. I want to believe that the knowledge of my adoption made me a stronger person but in reality it has only made me overthink every friendship and relationship I have.

In the end though I know you gave me up for a reason and because of your choice I have been given the best life I could have. It's weird not knowing if you're out there or not but either way I hope you are happy and in a good place. I'm sorry I couldn't be more happier that you gave me up and I'm sorry I do not ever want to find you. So many people have asked if I will search for you but you gave me up in a closed adoption for a reason and I will respect that.

I hope that one day I can get past all my fears of adoption and be able to view it as a positive thing but for now it'll be the reason I am so cautious and anxious.

Thank you for the decision to give me up.

Love,

Your daughter