Dear Leaks,

Literally how do you come about?

Why do you come about?

No matter what, I always come right back to you. I can't really resist the temptation to just look ahead, like getting ahead in reading the textbook before class so you know what to expect. I can't say I always do the same in class, but leaks, yeah, I'm there.

The only time I remember really getting into something to read ahead in was an AP Psychology textbook I read during freshman biology lab periods every Friday. The lab room itself was often used to store textbooks on the sidelines, which is common of several rooms in the science department, which I suppose is fair enough. I guess that's a pretty good head start considering I'm only taking AP Psychology proper in senior year now.

But the thing with you, dear leaks, is that I watch them regardless of whether or not I have the time to watch them. I should totally only look at words on a screen appearing as I type my college essays. I should. I don't want to, though.

But isn't that just a testament to personality?

It sounds a bit absurd to attribute things to personality - I've figured this out over the years. (Because of my personality.)

But I can’t help but wonder how much of this is something akin to character building. I doubt that anyone expects mere children (when people apply to college, they’re usually about 17, which, remember, isn’t even enough to consider someone legally an adult) to sit down and only focus on college and college essays. Sitting down and doing only one thing for the entirety of your days isn’t healthy - it’s the definition of obsessive. I refuse to believe that my life will become nothing but X.

So I do go out and watch leaks, then turn around later and watch the episodes again when they premier on TV. I won’t pretend to be the most patient person, and I won’t pretend to be the most disciplined person. I don’t like to wait for the progression of something Im invested in.

And at the end of the day, there’s no such thing as the Most “Something” Person™. Not only does it all depend on parameters in the first place, people simply aren’t going to be - and shouldn’t be - just one thing in anyone’s eyes. To define someone as just one particular thing would be to strip away their humanity and practically confine them to the personification of just that. It would be to strip away their individual diversity and multifaceted nature. In my eyes, the idea of me just limiting myself to just marketing myself to colleges all day is all sorts of wrong.

So I might be trying to go to college, but you, dear leaks, I am still watching you.