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Health and Wellness

An Open Letter To My Self-Confidence

For when it becomes increasingly difficult to appreciate the beauty of yourself.

Megan Pattoli

Sep 01, 2015

University of Connecticut

554

Remember the last time you got a high score on your Chemistry exam? Yeah, me neither.

Well, it’s 11:36 a.m., and you just received a good score on your Chemistry exam. You’re feeling good. You’re even feeling like you should switch to Chemistry as your major because you’re at your best at the moment. You’ll probably not do this well on the next one, though. How did you even do this well on this one? Why didn’t you get a perfect score on the exam? There were 13 kids that did. You couldn’t perform well under pressure, could you?

You need a distraction. Now you’re on Facebook. You’re scrolling through the NewsFeed seeing how much fun everyone had at their parties this weekend or family events that happened without you while you were studying on Friday and Saturday night. You’re getting a little blue. You’re feeling a little left out. Like you’re not worthy to be at those parties. Remember just 60 seconds ago when you got an A- on your Chemistry exam? Yeah, me neither.

This party seems way cooler. Look how many pictures there are. Stop scrolling through them. Good, you did.

Now you’re on Instagram. Wow, look how much fun everyone from home is doing at their respective colleges. She got thinner, he got taller. Wow! They are on a tropical island living large somewhere! They’re doing so much better than you, right? Remember two minutes ago when you got an A- on your Chemistry exam? Yeah, me neither.

Let’s switch to Snapchat. Wow, that person blacked out last night. You haven’t been to a party like that in awhile. Look, your best friend from home was roaming her campus with friends. You should text her about it. She didn’t answer in 10 seconds? She clearly doesn’t have time for you anymore. Woah, he spent all night in the library. You haven’t pulled an all-nighter studying since last semester. He’s working so much harder than you. I bet he studied harder than you did for that Chem exam. Wait. Remember five minutes ago when you got an A- on your Chem exam? Yeah, me neither.

You are not a Facebook picture with a blurred drink in your hand. You are not an Instagram of some sunset on a tropical beach. You are not a 65-second snapchat story of late-night shenanigans, music raving at party, or jazz playing in a dorm room with good friends and wine. You’re you. You’re beautiful too. You’re smart too. You’re important too.

I know it’s a battle every day in today’s world to find the right balance of self-deprecation and self-acceptance, if there even should be a balance at all. We’ll figure it out as we go along, though. We’re in this together. So do you really want to let other people, other pictures, or events cast a shadow on your fun, your memories, and your life?

Yeah, me neither.

P.S. Congrats on the Chem grade. But, like I said, we’re in this together. So please don’t make it your major.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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An Open Letter To My Self-Confidence

For when it becomes increasingly difficult to appreciate the beauty of yourself.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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