Dear Military Girlfriend,
Hi, I know what you're going through.
Let me start off by telling you that you are not special because you were made with some special purpose in mind, or because your relationship was meant to be, or even because you were cut from some divine cloth of powerful goddesses. You are special because you were cut from the very same, ordinary cloth as everyone else and turned yourself into someone extraordinary.
As a collective presence, the military girlfriend will go through some of the most painful experiences a civilian can go through, and that pain is written in the promises we've made to our significant others. But the beautiful thing about the military girlfriend is that through the pain, suffering, worrying and fighting there is still a powerful fire burning in her heart that gives her the strength to keep going, and fuels the love she has to push thousands of miles to reach its destination.
I know that you sleep facing the wall so you don't have to look at the big empty space on the pillow next to you, and I know you pray every day (multiple times a day) with sometimes as little to say to God as a simple "help." I know there's sometimes a lipstick print on your favorite picture, and an old shirt rolled up in your drawer that you don't even wear because its just there for hugging. I know your cellphone is glued to your hand, probably with an app inside counting down days, and I know you haven't listened to your favorite love song in months because its not worth it when they're gone.
But I also know that five minutes with the person you love can make up for five months of being apart. I know that when things get tough, we are tougher, and I know that love always conquers all. I know you've made mistakes, and you've beat yourself up, and you've been angry at him and angry at yourself and wondered how you two are going to make it. I know you two can make it.
When you're saying goodbye again, remember that "we have to be sad for a little while so we can be happy forever," as my boyfriend told me the last time he left.
When you're going through hell, keep going, and do it with as much womanly grace as possible. That grace is easy to forget, but please don't. Its going to make all the difference when something bigger happens.
When you feel alone, remember that he does too, and he's farther away from home than you. Send him little gestures that show him he's braver and stronger than he thinks, and he's always always always loved.
When you can't talk to him, talk to God, the universe, your dog, or whatever it is you believe in the most. Someone is listening, even if its just the furry little mutt laying in your lap. Tell them you love him, ask them to send him more strength and more bravery (because he needs it, too).
Above everything else, don't lose faith in yourselves. Don't let fear cloud the goodness in your lives, and don't give up on them. Pretty soon this too will have passed, and even though you might have to drag yourself through the days, and you might make it to homecoming battered, beaten, dirty, and disheveled, you'll still make it. And in the short moment that you're standing inches apart again, before you've even touched him, you'll know its all been worth it.
