My dearest sister,

I cried on your wedding day before I walked down the aisle with our brother, who told me to stop. I cried when dad gave you away. I cried as I stood only a few feet from you as you vowed to love your husband forever – through thick and thin. I cried when I saw you cry in that church because your life was about to completely change – for the better. I cried in the airport, waiting to board my plane to return to my real life at school.

But happiness radiates from every nerve in your body, and I would not trade that for the world.

It is an incredibly weird feeling to watch you start a family with someone else. If you want to know a secret, I became irrationally annoyed when you changed your last name on Facebook. Remember, the key word in that sentence is irrationally. It is not that I don’t love my new brother-in-law. It is not that I don’t want you to move forward in your life with the person that you are madly in love with. I think it’s that I’m selfish and I don’t want to share you, and I know that is irrational as well.

I don’t want you to have another set of people that you call family. I don’t want to share you on the holidays, or vacations, or any time when I want you to be here but you have to split your time with “the in-laws.” However, I once again realize that this is irrational.

I want to thank you for being my sister. Thank you for being straight with me when I am acting ridiculous. Thank you for talking me through fights with mom and dad (and every other family member). Thank you for still telling me you loved me when I acted like a horrible sister. Thank you for listening to me cry, whether it be in person or on the phone – you are always there. Thank you for your consistent advice when I tell you my life is in shambles, because you help me pick up the shambled pieces and tape them back together. Thank you for always trying to make sure I am okay. And when I’m not okay, thank you for telling me to do something about it. Thank you for the memories – the silly ones, the serious ones, and everything in-between. Thank you for a lot of little things, sister.

So as I am attending college halfway across the country, I wish I could be there to watch this new chapter of your life unfold. I would give my left lung to relive memories with you. I want to have sleepovers in your room again, even though we were only separated by a bathroom. I want to go on runs with you that always end up being longer than you initially say. I want to hang out and do nothing. I also want to hang out and go on adventures.

However, in the rational part of my brain, I know that you marrying someone does not equate to you dying. I know we have many more memories to make. I know you’re only a short drive away from mom and dad’s house. I know you will still be present at family gatherings that entail a few inevitable fights, but also many laughs. I know I’m not losing you.

I’m proud of my brother-in-law. He must really love you to willingly join our family. We are insane, loud, and full of strong personalities and a lot to handle. Nevertheless, it is not hard to see how much he loves you. I’m so happy that I could witness your relationship develop and fall perfectly into place. I heard your giddiness and excitement on that run in the spring when you first told me about him. I heard the giddiness in your voice when you finally called him your husband because you loved the way it sounded. I saw the happiness in your eyes when I visited your new house with your new husband.

So, my dearest sister, it is incredibly strange that you are married. Things will change. There will be a new dynamic, now. Do you want to know what I am very excited about? Calling you when I am first married, because I am sure there will be tears to be shed and advice I will need. I will also tell you all the amazing things about marriage, as I hope to hear from you in this new part of your life.

I am overjoyed that I was graced with an older sister. I am overjoyed that I was blessed with a built-in best friend. I am overjoyed that you have a beautiful life ahead of you with your new husband.