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To The Father Who Abandoned Me From The Daughter You Never Wanted

You made a choice and I was all the better for it.

Emma Kirbis

Apr 17, 2018

Susquehanna University

580

To The Father Who Abandoned Me From The Daughter You Never Wanted

Emma Kirbis

Dear Eric,

22 years ago you found out you were having a daughter, May 1996. 9 months later you had a daughter, February 15, 1997. From that moment you made a choice.

A choice to be absent, a choice to not accept me, a choice to not care about my life. And from that moment, I have been all the better for it.

I have tried to write this letter many times over the past 21 years. I have written it at many different stages of my life. The angry stage, the denial stage, the curious stage.

Now I feel though is the best stage for me to write this. The peaceful stage. I am at peace with the fact that you chose not to be a part of my life.

To be quite frank, I would have rather it this way than for you to be present, then absent or for you to be a terrible father.

My life is good. I never once felt unloved, never once felt that I was missing something, never once felt out of place. I made something of myself without you.

I have traveled the world. I completed an entire years worth of college credits before graduating high school.

I performed on one of the most prestigious stages in the world at 17 years old with my choir. I am graduating college a semester early and I have an amazing future ahead of me.

For a long time I was angry at you, wondering why you left, what did I do wrong, how can I fix it. In recent years I have realized that it doesn't matter.

I have a wonderful life full of people who truly support and care about me. You have not hindered my life in any way. I don't even know if I know what I was missing because it never felt like anything was.

You went on with your life and I went on with mine. I am not longer going to let myself be angry with you. There is no going back in time and making a change.

You cannot take back the choice you made but if you decide one day you'd like to try and fix it, I will accept it but I will no longer be waiting for it.

Today, April 10, 2018 I am making a choice. A choice to be free of you.

A choice to be happy. A choice to no longer let your mistake affect my life. You abandoned me and for that, I am forever grateful.

I love my life. I love my friends and I love my family. So Eric, today, I forgive you.

I forgive you for the choice you made 22 years ago. I forgive you for not believing in yourself. I forgive you for not putting in the effort.

I forgive you for being a crappy human being. I forgive you.

Sincerly,

The Daughter You Never Wanted

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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To The Father Who Abandoned Me From The Daughter You Never Wanted

You made a choice and I was all the better for it.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

No matter how old you are.

1. Build a snowman

2. Start a snowball fight

3. Build a fort

4. Binge-watch Netflix

4. Look out the window

5. Grab coffee with a friend

6. Complete school or office work

7. Sleep

8. Read a book

9. Bake cookies

10. Drink hot cocoa

11. Go ice skating

12. Take a Walk

"I don't want to do things. I want to not do things."

1. When you look at the syllabus and realize there are only three weeks of the semester left; even though the first day was LITERALLY yesterday.

2. You look at your grades and realize they probably aren't as high as they should be, which is a terrifying realization.

3. When you think to yourself at night, "tomorrow, I will wake up early and go to the library ALL day, and, hell, maybe after I'll go to the gym for a little bit, just to push myself that extra mile."

4. Tomorrow actually comes. The inevitable and overpowering sense of procrastination is too strong to overcome.

5. But you DO end up going to the library. Not all day though, but still, a while. But no, you do not go to the gym. Still, you made an effort, so you decide to treat yo' self.

6. When you realize you need to schedule a meeting with your adviser because you need to sign up for classes next semester. But you also realize that since you waited until the last minute, you're going to get stuck with all of the crappy classes.

7. When you low-key try to slip into conversation with your professors that you need extra credit because you're that desperate.

8. When it's already the third time you've seen your adviser in two days because you have no damn clue what you're doing and need all the help you can get.

9. When you apply for a job associated with your major even though you have no experience, but you just want to dive headfirst into the deep end of adulthood and get it over with.

The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

Relatable moments from one of the best shows I have ever watched.

1. When you fail that midterm you studied so hard for.

2. When your crush finally texts back.

3. When payday comes around.

4. When you accidentally like someone's picture from 108 weeks ago.

5. When someone takes your unassigned assigned seat.

6. When your favorite character in your favorite TV series dies.

7. When that guy/girl you’ve been crushing on agrees to go on a date with you.

8. When you have so much to do, and such little motivation to do it.

9. When someone asks for your last fry.

10. When you try a new health-food craze.

11. When you get new clothing.

12. When you check your bank account.

13. When they're serving good food in the dining hall.

14. When someone tries to tell you what to do.

15. Or just your thoughts about life in general.

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