To the kid that has lost a parent,

I know what you're going through, and it sucks. Growing up, you never thought that you would ever have to plan your mom or dad's funeral. You never thought you would sit at the dinner table staring at the empty chair across from you. You never anticipated the heartache or the hole that is now eating away at your being. Because when you were little, mommies and daddies lived forever. You didn't know what it felt like to lose someone who meant so much to you.

I know what it is like to wake up in the morning and for five seconds, for five fleeting seconds, feel as if nothing has happened. To think to yourself, "Oh, it's a great day," only to remember you don't get to share that great day with the only person in the world you want to share it with. You never knew how much you would miss having conversations about everyday things like school, or sports or the weather because they weren't that special. Not until they were gone.

I know what it's like to sit through graduation wishing he/she were there to cheer you on. I know what it's like to wish on every birthday that you could have one more day with them. so you could hold their hand, kiss their cheek, make snarky comments, smile, or even say "I love you," one last time. I know what it's like to have something really awesome happen one day and pick up the phone to call them and realize there would never be an answer on the other end of the line again.

I know what it's like to be so angry at other kids for still having both of their parents and watch them share memories that you should be making. I know what it's like to want to take a sledgehammer to the ankles of that kid who says "I hate my mom" or "I hate my dad" and responding in your head with, "Well, at least you have one."

I know what it's like to look at old pictures and feel silent tears roll off your cheeks because you wish things were different. I know what it is like to get the news that they are gone and feel numb inside and out. To be frozen in place because you can't process the enormity of the loss you now have to deal with. I know what it's like to feel loved and supported for a few weeks, and then feel nothing three months later.

I know what it's like to feel broken. Shattered. I know what it's like to be so deep in darkness that even the little bit of light can't pull you out. I know what it's like to have regrets, and wishing you didn't.

I know what it's like to lose a parent.

But:

I also know what it's like to have hope. To feel joy again. I know what it is like to wake up in the morning and feel that hole in your heart get smaller. To heal. I know what it is like to smile at the small things again. To take an extra second or two to admire the stars. To hug your siblings a little tighter at night and say "I love you" one too many times. I know what it is like to feel strong again. To be happy. I know what it is like to share in gut-busting laughter with my friends again. I know how to appreciate life and how precious it is. I know that every second is a gift and that time heals all wounds, no matter how deep.

So, to the kid that feels as though you have lost everything...

You are not alone. It. Gets. Better.

Have faith and know that there is a kid out there that is cheering you on (me).

"You are braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -Christopher Robin, "Winnie the Pooh"