I have one word for hipsters, and that word is stop.

You are ruining food, the most beautiful thing in the world by making it either so hard to eat or mushing a million good things together to create a monster. Also, why must everything have avocado? Why is there charcoal in everything? Why is everything either detox or vegan, and why, why, why do you hate plates?

Exhibit A:

NO. PLEASE. Why are you ruining spaghetti like this? How do I eat this? Why are you making this so hard. I just want to eat spaghetti.

One thing I've realized about hipster food is that it is just difficult to eat. Food is so good and you're making it hard. Just put it on a plate. Give me a fork. Let me eat in peace. It does not have to be in a beaker or a lightbulb or a shovel. Honestly, I feel like this extremely extra presentation is probably making up for some lack in taste.

Exhibit B:

See, this is not allowed. Pancakes are delicious. Why are you making them look burnt? I know it's supposed to be healthy or whatever, but that's not the point of pancakes. The point of pancakes is to be delicious, so stop ruining it for everyone.

Exhibit C:

Hipsters seem to think that putting two good things together makes a better thing. Well, guess what? That's not true. Coca-cola is delicious and so are Mentos, but what do they make? An explosion in your mouth. Don't fall for this sushi-donut BS. Eat them the way they were made to be - SEPARATELY.

Exhibit D:

I have no words.

EAT FOOD THE NORMAL WAY, PEOPLE! IT'S NOT HARD.