To my high school sweetheart,
I grew up hearing about people marrying their high school sweethearts. I grew up watching classic movies and seeing the likes of Sandy and Danny falling in love in high school and presumably living happily ever after. Yet, as I was growing up, I assumed nothing like this magic will ever happen to me. That's where I began to go wrong.
The first time I was wrong was when I was going into high school thinking I wouldn't meet anyone that would make me fall in love for the first time. I was wrong again when I believed you would never, ever fall for me. The third time I was wrong is when I thought the "thing" we were at in the beginning, was just going to be a "thing" and nothing more. I was wrong when I thought this wouldn't change me. I was wrong when I believed this would last forever.
This isn't a sad story though; this is the story of how all my preconceived notions were false.
This is the story about how you were the first one to allow me to find myself. You watched me pass through various stages and guide my way through multiple cliques. Yet, when all of that fell apart, you were the constant in the equation.
It's the story about bringing out the best of me; a part of me I had never seen. You saw me in a vulnerable way that I don't usually let people see. You saw me at the beginning of the day, put together and tied together with a smile; yet you also saw me at the end of the day, strung out, and tied together with a soft smirk.
It was the story of finding actual, concrete, fairy-tale kind of love for the first time. It was the time of making up excuses for why I was late for curfew again because we were simply sitting in my driveway kissing. It was the smile I saw all the way down the hall when you were by my locker waiting for me.
It was the sporting events where you would give me a wink just to acknowledge my presence, and I felt like the winner even though I wasn't even in the game. It was the time when you told me the three magic words: "I love you," for the first time and that day instantly became one of the best days of my life.
It's the story of us trying to beat the odds, beat the status quo. Not only make it out of high school alive, but make it out together. It was the two of us: lovers, partners in crime, best of friends. It was plain and simple: it was you and me kiddo.
Yet, in the end I was wrong. I thought with all my heart at one point it would last forever. All good things must come to an end and our end came before we believed it would. Still, I am sorry. I am sorry how it ended. I am sorry how I treated the situation, how I put a band-aid on it to make it better, attempting to fix it. It was already broken; I couldn't mend it. I'm sorry for putting you through that. I'm sorry when I hurt you, because I didn't mean to.
The thing is I still think about you. I think about you more than I am willing to admit sometimes. When I think about you, I do miss you. I miss the relationship, your family, the car rides, the outbreaks of songs, the hidden notes, the shared pizzas, the Target trips, the way sometimes you were the only thing to fix me, and how you are still one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I know the reason we broke up is for better, and I still hold true to that. I hope you know though how special you are, how wonderful of a human being you are, and I hope you're doing well, and wherever you are it's a beautiful day. Thank for everything, but most importantly thank you for allowing me to be yours.
Love always,
Your high school sweetheart
