To Your First Drink,

As I entered my first day of high school, I was told that these will be the best four years of my life and that I wouldn't leave this building the same as I entered. Reflecting back on my last four years, I can truly say it was a learning experience, and I sure did leave high school as a different person. My school was plastered with signs saying, “21 Means 21," but even that, high school parties and underage drinking has become a “rite of passage.”

Freshmen year. It was the time to explore and try new things, somehow the first weekend of being “fresh meat” I was invited to a senior party. As I walked through the back door of the house, I was greeted with loud music, loud conversations and the smell of beer. My friends and I were swooped up by our upperclassmen friends, and our empty hands were consumed with red solo cups filled to the brim with beer. I took my first sip of alcohol. Sips turned into chugging, and chugging brought me to the beer pong table along with other drinking games. As the night went on, I became drunker. I was having the time of my life with my friends and all the upperclassmen; people were laughing, socializing, and I felt I was in the “in crowd." My upperclassmen friends would scream and laugh, “OMG! I’m corrupting her! Aw, she’s no longer the baby! Take more shots with me!” As a little naive freshman, I was so happy I was in the scene and didn’t want to say no.

Sophomore year. Somehow, images change. I didn’t think being a social person brought the label of “popular," and with being popular, came the assumption that you're a bitch. With that in the back of my mind, I still went about my ways. My weekends consisted of getting drunk with my friends. Each weekend was a competition of “who’s going to get the most f*cked up,” and I always won that title. I wouldn’t be able to attend a party without being drunk. I started to depend on alcohol for my social skills at parties. Friday nights: get ready, pregame by myself, go to a friend’s house pregame with them, walk to the party already drunk and then get more drunk. To me and any other high schooler, this was a typical routine. So I really didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. Underage drinking was normal.

Junior year. An upperclassman finally. It was routine of me to show up to all parties and if I didn’t, people would have noticed. I continued the routine of going to parties every weekend and I became consumed with my social life. Even being engulfed by my social life, I was on top of my schoolwork. I had always believed “I have an image to withhold.” I was Class President since freshmen year, I was always at events, I was a social butterfly. But somehow Junior year, something went wrong. I wasn’t as happy and didn't feel “filled” with a purpose. When I wasn't happy, I tried to put a smile on and went to party and got drunk. Drinking made me not think of what my problems or situations were. My drunk nights turned into blackouts. My last drink was a night I don’t remember at all. As I swung my head back for my 12th shot, everything was a blur. I woke up at my friend’s house on the floor with a garbage can next to me filled with vomit and empty water bottles. As I slowly sat up, my head was pounding, body was shaking, hands were pale and eyelids heavy. I looked over at my friend and her face filled with tears, “I didn’t know what to do. I've never seen someone so bad before, I should have called the emergency room but...” I was filled with embarrassment, confusion and guilt. I felt horrible for putting her and my friends in that situation and confused as to why I had felt the need to get that drunk. I into burst tears and said, “I’m sorry."

Senior Year. I started to grow distant; I still went to parties but never drank. Everyone always asked, “Why aren’t you drinking?” I was greeted with confused faces when I would enter through someone’s back door late and with car keys in my hand. “DD (Designated Driver). Once again!” as everyone laughed. I shrugged it off. Don’t get me wrong, I am still the social, friendly and outgoing person I am. I was never an alcoholic, but I knew if I was going to continue prioritizing my social life, I would be.

I’m not saying don’t drink. Honestly, I slightly encourage underage drinking in high school. I know people are probably freaking out over that statement but think about it. One: before we were even born, our parents were our age and legally allowed to drink in high school. Since the drinking age back then was 18. Two: you hear the horror stories about college students getting hospitalized or sexually assaulted. Usually, those are kids have either never had a drink or never been to a big house party. Again, I’m not saying throw a huge house party and get shitfaced when you're 14; however, if I didn’t have the experiences I had I may have had experienced that in college, and I wouldn't be able to handle it alone. High school and college are very different. In high school, your childhood friends would help you out and wouldn’t leave you, but in college, your three-day-old friends you just met probably won’t assist you or hold your hair back for your first time getting trashed. Three: you hear it from every kid who has had a really rough night before to someone throwing up: “It’s OK. It happens to the best of us. You have to have that one situation to learn not to do that again.”

It’s kind of funny. Being a teenager and growing up we’re all know it all’s. We don't like listening to advice. We have to experience it then someone tell us “I told you so.” It also gives me a chuckle; 21 doesn’t mean 21. Somehow it’s in graved in our heads that its a right of passage and the “normal” thing to do. My advice after sharing my high school drinking story is, make mistakes and learn from them and your experiences.