We don't speak anymore, nor do we have any true line of contact. I don't know what you ended up doing nor where life ended up taking you. I can't remember what it felt like to hold your hands or the sound of your laugh when I cracked a joke. But I do remember certain things about our relationship, certain memories that have anchored themselves to the back of my mind, and will stay with me for the rest of my life. When I met you, I hardly knew who I was let alone the kind of person I wanted to be. I was a typical high school girl, confused about what they wanted to do with their life, scared of the future, and overwhelmed by the amount of pressure to "pick the right path". Sure, I had passions and dreams. I had things I enjoyed to do in my free time and people I enjoyed spending time with. But when it came to my true self, I knew nothing. And then I met you.
We started as friends and grew into something more. We shared personal stories about our families and parents, and became vulnerable with one another when it came to talking about situations that scared us. We were both confused about our morals and beliefs, because for the first time in our lives we were questioning everything we were taught and told to believe our entire lives. We were rebellious, and together we defied those who had always held a higher position in our lives because we no longer agreed with the things they did or said. And during the evolvement of our personal selves, we also began to discover painful secrets about our families and establishments that were significant to us at one time. But together we relied on one another for comfort and reassurance. Together we talked over every single life situation that was proving to be difficult and helped one another to find a solution. We talked for hours about politics, religion, power, morals, beliefs, and life in general. Our deep philosophical conversations posed new questions that may never be answered, as well as new thought processes that challenged the way most people think. Together our minds grew, and together we realized that every problem or issue we were dealing with would eventually be okay.
It was during this time that I realized our souls connected on a completely different level. You showed me that although we seem a certain way on the surface, we as human being are so much deeper than that. Our souls combined together and pretty soon I forgot what it was like to feel so alone in the world because I knew you were there beside me. If anything happened in my life you were the first person I would call. If any new idea came to mind, you were the first person I'd talk about it with. And if any new issue or obstacle presented itself, you were the first person I'd go to. We became much more than high school sweethearts, because we helped one another evolve into a totally different human being. We had vivid minds with rebellious and innovative thoughts, and wild hearts with a craving for new adventure and discovery.
And here I am, three years later, thinking about it all over again. It's no secret that our breakup was tough, and we said and did things in spite of one another that were pathetic and horrible. But I got to place a long time ago where I no longer thought you were the only person I would ever love. I got to a place where I no longer resented your nor regretted our relationship. I don't miss you anymore, but I don't hate you either. And I know for the rest of my life you'll always hold a special place in my heart.
If someone asked me now if I knew you, I would say no. Because in all honesty, I don't know you anymore. I don't know what has gone on in your life since that summer we broke up before I went off to school, and I don't know how your thoughts or beliefs have changed since then. I don't know where life has taken you, but I hope it has taken you somewhere incredible. I hope you have accomplished all the things you said you wanted to do back when I knew what all of your dreams and goals were. I hope you have met more amazing people who have helped you to continue to grow as I have, and I hope you have found others to rely and count on when life has gotten tough. And most importantly, I hope your truly happy. Because no matter what happened to us or our relationship in the past, you deserve to be totally and completely happy with life. And maybe someday, when I'm at the grocery store or in a bar and we cross paths once again, I hope we can approach one another and talk about those fond memories we made together and those opinions and beliefs we created with one another. You came into my life and you changed it, not for the way you looked or the way you made me feel, but for the way you helped me grow as a person. And for that I will always thank you.
