Dear Heart Breaker,
I truly thought you were different. Everything about you was so different, and honestly it was refreshing. Even the attention you gave me was different. The thing that was the most different, was how you broke my heart unlike any other person I've ever met.
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I remember the first night we met in person. It was my mom's birthday, and we sat in your blue Camero in my driveway and talked until 1am. Before I went to open the door, you pulled me back and kissed me. I literally saw fireworks and felt my heart jump out of my chest. I knew right then and there that I was going to fall so hard for you. I'd do anything to go back to that night so I could have avoided that kiss completely, and talk myself out of seeing you.
I think one of the saddest things, is how attached I got to your family. I can't speak for them, but I like to think they felt the same about me. I miss playing volleyball with your sister, I miss gossiping with your mom, and I miss the conversations I had with your dad. It's been over 5 years and for some reason I still miss you. I miss your blue eyes, your blonde hair, and your smile. I fucking miss you and I can't stand it.
Since you were going into the Army, you begged me to wait for you. I knew I loved you and I wanted nothing more than to wait for you and to be with you. I remember the last time I ever saw you. It was at your graduation party at the end of July. You gave me a kiss before I left your party and I didn't hear from you the rest of the night. The next day we talked about you leaving for basic. You promised you'd see me the day you left, and would call me every Sunday, and would send me letters. I couldn't have asked for anything more than that. You kept me waiting the whole day you left for basic, and in the end, you said you didn't have time to see me. I remember having to go outside because I was uncontrollably sobbing, and I didn't want my family to hear me.
You called me the first Sunday at basic and it was so good to hear your voice. You said it was already really tough and you told me you loved me. Later that week your dad called me and asked if I wanted to stay the night with him and his girlfriend to watch movies. I agreed and we talked about you the whole time. I slept in your bed that night and hoped I'd be able to do that again with you laying next to me. After your dad dropped me off the next morning, that was the last time I ever saw him.
You never called me again. I sent you 3 letters and never got one single letter back from you. July 30th 2011 was the last time I saw you. August 7th, 2011 was the last time I heard your voice. The shitty thing is...I didn't do anything wrong. I have no idea what I did that was so wrong to make you act like I dropped off the face of the earth. Maybe you were bored. Maybe I wasn't the right one for you. Maybe you didn't want me anymore. You're married now, and you're happy. How do you get to be happy after what you did to me? I'm not really sure, but I'm happy for you.
If you would have given me something, the slightest bit of closure, I don't think I would feel this way. I still think about you when I hear a certain song on the radio that reminds me of you, when I see a blue Camero, and when I drive down a familiar road I once drove down with you. I still think about you and miss you, and that's okay. I know you don't care, but I'm happy too. My current boyfriend is amazing and I actually know how love is supposed to feel now thanks to you, so thank you. I can truly say now that I hope you remain happy and loved, and maybe someday we can be friends.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who Scratched Her Nose On The Bottom Of Your Pool And Who Your Dad Called Pumpkin.
