An Open Letter To Guys Who Have Given Up On Relationships | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

An Open Letter To Guys Who Have Given Up On Relationships

Here are the reasons why guys shouldn't give up.

8101
An Open Letter To Guys Who Have Given Up On Relationships

I have heard it all before and, yep, I hear you. I totally one hundred percent hear you, boy. Sometimes relationships suck ... yet I hate when guys use that as an excuse to not have one. If you think telling girls "I just go with the flow" cuts it as an excuse or somehow justifies you not having a relationship, then all you're really doing is pushing a potentially amazing one away.

Honestly, just because relationships you've had in the past have failed, doesn't mean you give up on them altogether. Just because maybe you didn't do so hot in that football game, doesn't mean you threw in the towel and gave up football altogether, does it? Because if I had to bet, that just made you work that much harder the next time. So why have you given up?

Every girl is different, and so is every guy. That means that literally every relationship you have is going to be different in some way because no person thinks the same, feels the same, or reacts the same in different situations. In fact, with each relationship, I notice I feed off of a person differently than I have with others before that. This doesn't mean I am not being me, but I am subconsciously behaving based off of how you and I mix as human beings. That old time saying "having chemistry" definitely goes past the lab room.

We all usually learn this fact the hard way: a relationship that started out great but ended as bad as spoiled milk. Often some awful things are said, maybe even some bad things done, and you learn, well, obviously, this isn't working. At the end of the day, though, you realize you've done and said things you haven't meant or don't reflect who you are. A great relationship may have turned toxic but you can't pin that on the other person, yourself, or anyone else. It just means you two don't work well together and are not meant to be. So instead of wasting each other's time, move on.

But moving on and giving up are two completely different things. And here is usually where the "I just go with the flow" comes in. All this actually says is "I don't want to put the effort in." Yes I admit there is nothing wrong with this. Sometimes lives are too busy or stressful to even consider a relationship. Perhaps just going out and playing the freedom role is appropriate at times too. Let loose and have fun, because you are only young once. No one is accusing you or telling you that there is no excuse to not want a relationship. No it doesn't make you a bad person either.

Yet then again ... you do go on some dates. Dating is meant for getting to know people and seeing if there is potential to continue something there. It's fun and doesn't necessarily have to be serious; one date doesn't have to lead to another or need a label "relationship" but when you take a girl out, make your boundaries clear. What it comes down to is if you aren't ready for a relationship don't let others think you are -- and never ever make a girl think there is potential for you two if those are not your intentions.

But don't not have a relationship because you don't want to put the effort in based off of preconceived stereotypes or ones you created from past failed relationships because again, all relationships are different. No, not all relationships have to be clingy and no they shouldn't be dominating. I want you to be able to go out and have your guys nights and personal time just as I want to spend time with my friends. There is nothing wrong with being simply busy either. And no I don't need you to spend tons of money on me, like how many guys describe a relationship as expensive. A relationship is about the connection you have with another person, and if a date expects anything otherwise, then find someone else. Some woman or man is out there for you.

It makes me sad when a guy says he has given up on relationships because of one extremely bad one, or many failed ones. When they even say they like someone but they just aren't sure because they're afraid of history repeating itself or the idea of being tied down, it is even more upsetting. A relationship isn't marriage -- you don't hold any other responsibilities or promises to a person other than that you are getting to know them and seeing how you two work together. And history isn't going to repeat itself as long as you keep trying among the millions and millions of different people on this planet. If you like someone don't let a fear stand in that way or you will lose them and never know. Dating and relationships just mean "I'm going to give it a try."

To the guys who have given up ... maybe you aren't ready for another relationship, or perhaps it is just not the right time for you. Yet one day you will find someone worth all the hurt and confusion from past relationships. There is certainly going to be many failed ones before there is a right one. So if you like someone, take them on a second date when you're ready. Someone who makes you smile and feel good inside is definitely worth the try.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Kardashians
W Magazine

Whether you love them or hate them, it's undeniable the Kardashian/ Jenner family has built an enormous business empire. Ranging from apps, fashion lines, boutiques, beauty products, books, television shows, etc. this bunch has shown they are insane business moguls. Here are seven reasons why the Kardashian/ Jenner family should be applauded for their intelligent business tactics.

Keep Reading...Show less
friends
Photo by Elizeu Dias on Unsplash

If I have learned one thing in my lifetime, it is that friends are a privilege. No one is required to give you their company and yet there is some sort of shared connection that keeps you together. And from that friendship, you may even find yourself lucky enough to have a few more friends, thus forming a group. Here are just a few signs that prove your current friend group is the ultimate friend group.

Keep Reading...Show less
ross and monica
FanPop

When it comes to television, there’s very few sets of on-screen siblings that a lot of us can relate to. Only those who have grown up with siblings knows what it feels like to fight, prank, and love a sibling. Ross and Monica Geller were definitely overbearing and overshared some things through the series of "Friends," but they captured perfectly what real siblings feel in real life. Some of their antics were funny, some were a little weird but all of them are completely relatable to brothers and sisters everywhere.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Types Of Sorority Girls

Who really makes up your chapter...

2837
Sorority Girls
Owl Eyes Magazine

College is a great place to meet people, especially through Greek life. If you look closely at sororities, you'll quickly see there are many different types of girls you will meet.

1. The Legacy.

Her sister was a member, her mom was a member, all of her aunts were members, and her grandma was a member. She has been waiting her whole life to wear these letters and cried hysterically on bid day. Although she can act entitled at times, you can bet she is one of the most enthusiastic sisters.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

10 Reasons Why Life Is Better In The Summertime

Winter blues got you down? Summer is just around the corner!

2430
coconut tree near shore within mountain range
Photo by Elizeu Dias on Unsplash

Every kid in college and/or high school dreams of summer the moment they walk through the door on the first day back in September. It becomes harder and harder to focus in classes and while doing assignments as the days get closer. The winter has been lagging, the days are short and dark, and no one is quite themselves due to lack of energy and sunlight. Let's face it: life is ten times better in the summertime.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments