Dear ex-"something,"
It is sad to think that I wasted a whole year on somebody like you; somebody that barely gave me five minutes out of his day when I was willing to give him all 1,440 of mine. You took me out of hell just to put me back again, and I thought that I would never get over you or the damage that you did to me. I am better without you now, and I am writing this letter to say thank you.
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Somewhere along the lines of loving you and then hating you and then missing you and then hating you again, I realized that you really did all that you could. We were not made for each other no matter how much I tried to convince myself we were. Although, this is not me not making excuses for the way that you treated me at times or some of the harsh things that you said to me.
You see, something that I did not know before I met you was that not every early morning coffee date or midnight drive with a brown eyed boy has to turn into a great love story. We were never going to be anything more than 3 a.m. phone calls and 6 a.m. goodbyes.
I should not have been okay with any of it, with the way you treated me.
I made excuses for those times that you wouldn't answer my text messages and I would ignore the stories I heard about you being with other girls.
I kept trying to make excuses for the person that I did not want to admit that you really were.
I am not saying that you are a bad person because I do not believe that you are.
I just think that when it came to me all you had were bad intentions.
I deserved to be taken on dates to the movies or to concerts performed by my favorite musicians.
I deserved good night phone calls and good morning text messages. Two years in a row you didn't even take two seconds out of your day to say "Happy Birthday" to me.
I deserved so much more than you were ever willing to give me and I used to feel sad because I thought that I was not deserving of any of it.
I now know that I deserved more than anything that you were capable of giving me and I am sorry to myself for ever thinking that I was not.
Now, I want to say thank you.
Thank you for teaching me how to realize when somebody does not care about me.
Thank you for all of those great songs you inspired me to write.
Thank you for giving me a story to tell my future daughter one day when she is going through her first heartbreak.
Thank you for providing me with a "who not to be" example when I am teaching my future son how to be a man when it comes to women.
Most importantly, thank you for making me see that I am always worth more than a 3 a.m. phone call.
I cannot believe that I ever thought I was worth anything less.
I never thought that I would say these words but I hope that one day you find a girl you care about enough to date and maybe one day, even marry. Honestly, it is kind of a relief to know that it is not going to be me.
Sincerely,
Someone who deserved a lot more
